and at night, workin’ up a sweat

my parents came to see me on tuesday for my birthday (which is actually on saturday), they took me and tom out for an indian which was delicious, they also brought a chair i can actually sit on and i have a present for my birthday which looks very much perfume shaped, they also brought me 145 pounds worth of wages, hurray, that was much appreciated, i still want my student loan tho, where is it?! anyway, it was lovely to see them altho it wasnt for very long

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went out last night to red leicester, it was a bit shit, i think going out friday, monday and wednesday was a mistake because they played pretty much the same music at each night, we’re also going out on friday to hear the same music again, there were 2 songs last night that i was happy to hear, push it and u cant touch this (mariah carey tom ), it was a bit rubbish, matt was off his face once again, and ignoring ellie, i think she really did have a shit time , tom was pretty drunk as well actually, mikes friend also came out with us, he’s really nice, but still, pretty shit night

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had quite a gd conversation with my gay friend last night (i think we need some kind of codename here – tom, come up with something), tom told him i was bi, so we had quite an interesting conversation about what id done with girls and stuff lol, and he said he wants another secret boyfriend because his one from last year (apparently he used to go and see him in the middle of the night) failed his first year and didnt make it into the second, he also thinks he needs to find a bi bloke because he doesnt tend to fancy gay guys lol, we also talked about him coming out to his friends at home and how its brought him closer to his female friends but hes been scared to tell his male friends in case they think he fancies them (ppl are ridiculous arent they? why would gay ppl fancy everyone of their gender?), he also asked if i think hes doing the right thing by not telling anyone else at leicester, he said he doesnt kno if they’d be able to cope with it, i think he’s probably right, which is sad… anyway, twas a gd conversation, i love him…

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im worried about tom, hes really upset about mike, he says things that scare me like ‘ i wonder how easy it would be to move out in the middle of the year’ and like he doesnt want to be at uni any more and things like that, i dnt kno what to do, he seems sad all the time and i cant make it better, he thinks mike has like singled him out to take the piss out of him, mike takes the piss out of everything tho! i can see why it feels like that to tom because matt adores mike so hes not gonna take the piss out of matt and he wont pick on me n ellie because we’re girls, but i wish he could just like not care about it, mikes a nob, he has his own fucked up insecurities and needs to take them out on someone else, he’s so not worth getting upset about, i just want to make it better and i cant  i hate seeing tom upset, it also feels like whenever he talks to anyone else about it, like andy or matt, it makes him feel better but with me it doesnt seem to make any difference, i just feel so useless, i feel like i should be able to make everything ok for him but i cant, its hard for me to accept because i really couldnt care less what mike thinks, i kno thats easy for me to say because hes always nice to me, but thats how i feel, i dnt really care about the other ppl im living with, they dont really make any difference to me, im just thrilled im living with tom and i dnt really think about anyone else, i think tom feels he needs to spend lots of time with the rest of the house but i dnt really get that, i would hang out with them if it was actually some kind of bonding, but they sit in front of the tv all day and night, taking the piss out of some soap character’s hair or something, im sorry if thats supposed to make me antisocial but frankly i have better things to do with my time… anyway i hope tom feels happier soon, i love u tommy

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its horrible and rainy today and i feel sick (i need to sort my body out, i had about 1 and 3/4 bottls of wkd last night and feel awful this morning) and ive had no sleep, i just ordered nus extra so thats 10 quid gone, but on the plus side im going to revolution tonight *dances*  YAY!

xxx