Orange Juice

Honey, come over, the party’s gone slower
And no one will tempt you, we know you got sober
There’s orange juice in the kitchen, bought for the children
It’s yours if you want it, we’re just glad you could visit

It’s been almost 3 months since my last drink. There were several times in my life where I knew I should have quit. This time was different, I was doing well. Only a couple drinks a week, but the last time was during the day and I just kept drinking because I didn’t want the feeling to stop. But that feeling wasn’t a good one, I felt physically awful and the toxic thoughts would always creep in. More often than not, this was the case when I drank. The first time I did, I was 18 and drank for three days straight. I’m one of those people that don’t drink every day or even every week, but when I do I can’t just have one. I always knew that, as a young teenager I swore I’d never drink because I knew myself and that I had an addictive personality. There was a point in my life after I turned 21 that I had a routine, I’d tell myself I wasn’t going to drink that day and then I’m head to the shop to grab a bottle of wine and whatever sweet I was craving. I’d eat that family sized treat in my car and then go home, down the bottle of wine and sleep. It was the only way I could sleep.

Leaving home was the best choice for me. There are so many triggers, even in happy or comfortable environments. Drinking culture here is much different, and I started to see how people can be so casual about binge drinking and I didn’t want to get to the point where I saw it as something to brush off as well. I originally gave myself six months so that I could have champagne at New Years, but now 3 months later I’ve realised I don’t even want to do that. I don’t like champagne, it makes my stomach hurt and it’s not even good. I never liked wine either really, it was either too sweet or too tart. I only ever drank want was the strongest and that’s not a healthy way to choose a drink. Vodka was only my favourite because it masked well in any drink, I could never taste it. Gin taste like grass, whiskey felt like drinking gasoline, champagne made me feel sick, and I only drank orange juice if it had vodka in it.

I think I’ll be sober for longer than I was originally planning.