Gotta get it out

Arrrgh!  I think I need to move.  I really don’t want to because I really hate moving.  But my roommate and I are so different that we’re really getting on each other’s nerves.  Well, at least I’m pretty sure I’m getting on her nerves.  She likes to play music quite loud.  And she likes to play the same playlist over and over all evening.  And she’ll play that playlist for weeks.  And she doesn’t like to close her bedroom door because it makes her feel closed in. 

Earlier tonight, I asked her to turn it down.  I was in the living room, which is the farthest I can be in our apartment from her bedroom and still be in the apartment, and it was so loud I coudn’t focus on my book at all.  I asked her nicely to turn it down.  The look on her face told me that she knew I was going to ask her to turn it down, and she was pissed.  Now, if she knew that I would have that reaction, why did she do it?  Because she doesn’t want to live with me anymore, is my guess.  She decided she didn’t care about my feelings and would just do whatever she wanted anyway. 

She does other things that tell me she’d rather I wasn’t there.  She’s up all hours of the night, every night.  Her ‘up’ time is directly opposite of my ‘down’ time.  So when she wants to be active and clean the apartment and such, it’s always the same time that I want to rest and get ready to fall asleep.  When she decides the apartment needs to be reorganized, she just does it without asking me if I mind if she moves my things.  Once, she decided she wanted some of my things off the front of the fridge.  So she just took them off and put them in my room.  As if my opinion didn’t matter in the least.  (I put ’em back up.)

So I registered with roommates.com tonight.  I’m pretty chicken about this, but I don’t know what else to do.  (I hear someone saying, ‘Have you tried talking to her?’ – yeah, well, talking with us doesn’t work too well.  She takes everything I say as criticism.  I work really hard to make sure it’s not presented that way – ‘I’ messages and such – but our history is too deep for that to matter.) I’m hoping that the possibility that I might move out occurs to her, and maybe she’ll chill out.