OK, so maybe I do requests.
I was going back through my notes, and I found one asking me to do a list of my top 10 worst high school memories. Thought it would be interesting, and since I’m not going to sleep if I go to bed anyways, I figure it’s worth a crack. I have a hunch that most of these will involve girls for me…that’s just how my life has been, but I guess that wouldn’t be too unique. Here we go.
1. Freshman year, the girl I’d been chasing around and hanging out with and pseudo-dating (we did stuff together ALL the time) gave me the biggest shot I’ve ever taken, and then told me she did it on purpose. At the time, I was sensitive about my girl situation, and I talked to her about it. Originally, I didn’t have any feelings for her, but after a while, something developed. The girl spent all kinds of time getting to know me and what I liked and disliked, and what really bothered me, and then she, in the course of a month did every single thing on the list to me on purpose, and after I called her on why she’d been hanging out with me, told me flat that her only interest was so that she could get closer to my brother. I’m still not sure if I’ve fully recovered from this.
2. Sophomore year, right after I got my license, we had a snowstorm. I’m a hot shot punk 16 year old, driving my powder blue chevy Cavalier, and I have no idea how ice works. After getting the lecture from mom and dad (I know you guys tried), after school I was going to pick up my bro from school, and I pulled into someone. It was totally my fault, and all I could think about was how the world was going to end and how I was going to be mortalized by my parents. I gave the lady I ran into all my information, and she said she’s be in touch. She never called me back. Turns out, it was the mom of a guy who I was on the track team with, and she had a daughter who was my brother’s age. The daughter was the target of the cruel middle school pranks, and my little brother (bless his heart) stood up for her. When the mother figured out who I was, and who my brother was, she decided out of the goodness of her heart to not call. I figure I’d have several years in purgatory for that one, if I believed in that sort of thing. In the end, it was a testimony to the fact that there are still some gracious, compassionate people in the world.
3. Junior year, I went to a church retreat over New Year’s. I went to hang out with people, but I also went to see my girlfriend at the time, who was going to be there. After all this stuff, she broke up with me 8 hours before I was supposed to go back to Wisconsin, for no other reason than, “it seemed like a good idea.” I was tortured all the way home, ripped to tiny bits, destroyed. I get home just in time to take a phone call from her saying she wants to get back together. Which leads to…
4. A few months after this, after we got back together on the phone, I drove to her town to go to her Senior prom. At the close of the dance, I see she’s written me in the little notebook thingy that she’s glad for the time we were together, “no matter what happens after this.” So I ask her, and after a little hemming and hawing, she breaks up with me. So, we hopped in the car for the 45 minute drive to after prom, where I only knew 2 people besides my date. I remember asking her if she ever cared about me at all. Her response? “I tried and tried, but I just couldn’t make myself care.” Strangely, when it was all said and done, and I was on the way home the next day, this didn’t hurt as much as the previous instance I mentioned, probably because I was already so jaded that it didn’t matter.
5. Between Sophomore and Junior year, I went on a missions trip to South Dakota to work in Kyle, SD. The trip was great, and I learned a lot. But on one of the nights of the trip, there was a huge storm, and to make a long story short, our group was split up, and some of us ended up back at Wounded Knee high school, nervous about our friends still in harms way. What started out as a little bit of steam being let off ended up in a screaming match. After trying to calm things down, everyone started yelling at me, for a bunch of stuff, and I don’t remember what happened, but I remember every little issue I’d had up until that point coming out. About being picked on, spat on, kicked around, yelled at, marginalized, etc, etc. And I remember people trying to console me, after realizing they’d pushed the calm one too far. And I remember running down the hallway a scream on my lips such as I hope I never hear again. My heart made a horrible, horrible sound that day, and the only sound that could match it was almost as tortured. I hope and pray none of you have ever made that sound.
Continued, next entry…