Deeply Distracted

ALTERNATIVE TITLE:  Happy Freaking St. Patrick’s Day

ALTERNATIVE ALTERNATIVE TITLE:  If Murphy (who’s law is famous) is Irish, Then It’s Time to Carbomb.

Friends, I’m in the early stages of trying to write a 13 page paper that is due this time tomorrow.  I can’t concentrate for the life of me.  Soon, I’m going to hit myself in the head with a cricket bat.  There is one in the house, hanging conveniently in the kitchen, just a few brief steps away.

The first carbomb didn’t take the edge off.  That’s never a good sign. I’m thinking I might just have to grind this paper out distracted.  I should have started last night instead of reading my research.  I felt like writing last night.  Today, well…I don’t feel like it.  And putting it off isn’t a luxury I can afford right now.  A curse be on my procrastination.  Seriously.  I want to fire a gun, or blow something up.  Something other than sitting here and stewing.  I want to waste all my energy and crawl back to this computer with no energy, so that the paper will flow from my fingers.  That’s what I want.  Good luck with that happening.

St. Patrick’s day.  I like the Celtic spelling of Patrick much better– Padraig.  I like it a lot in, fact.  There are too few words that retain the Celtic spellings.  If people started throwing in ‘wv’ into their words more often, the world would be a bwvetter place.  I’m just sawvying.

In honor of St. Patrick’s day, I think I’m going to crawl in the whole to the underworld in my basement.  I have no idea where the hole goes, it simply leads under the parking lot.  I don’t understand it.  I don’t want to know what lives down there.  We should get Geraldo into town, so he could do an excavation and some investigative reporting into the abyss in the basement.  I want to go to sleep and wake up next year.  Any chance of that happening?  (Before you laugh, consider how much I can sleep, those of you who’ve see it.

In conclusion, if Guinness be motor oil, then let motor oil be served.

1 Peter 3:1-7.  I hate the passage.  I hate everything.  Now, on with the work!  Seriously.