The food known as PAIN *edit*

Sweet Baby Jesus.

Roommate and I were making dinner tonight and she was cutting the haba…haben…habawhateverthefucktheircalledbuttheirhotlittlebastards peppers.

She commented how they were burning her fingers.  I said, “No way.  Lemme touch!”  I did.  “They’re not burning me.”  “Well, they’re not burning me like they normally do.  Maybe they’re duds.”  I picked one up and sniffed it.  “It smells sweet.  I’m going to eat it.”  “Ok.”

I gingerly put it to my lips and bit off the tiniest bite.  I touched my tongue to the flesh of the pepper and–

AUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I raced to the sink and shoved my head under the running faucet.  I continued to scream, stopping only to shout, “SWEET MOTHER OF MARY WHY THE HELL WOULD GOD FORSAKE ME LIKE THIS?!?!?!”  I then began to shovel chips in my mouth, as they were the only bread-like thing we had.  I also started popping ice cube after ice cube into my mouth, hoping to numb the searing fire that had become my oral cavity.

Roommate chuckled a bit and said, “I guess you’ve never had one before.”  My reply, from under the stream of running water was, “Burble burble burble ARRGHHHH!!!”  Translated as, “Bitch, if you’d tried it, you’d be doing this too!”

So, as I’m freaking out, she begins to dice the onions which are right next to my half-submerged face.  Pretty soon, my eyes are burning, my mouth is burning, and all I know is searing pain.  She had put the peppers in the oven to roast and, when she took them out, released a plume of smoke that began to sear my nose, throat, and lungs.

She and I both had to leave the kitchen, but I was coughing, hacking, crying, sniffling, and still holding three ice cubes to my lips.

Apparently, she thought this was funny.

Aside from that incident, the day was great.  We went sunbathing on the college soccer field (which is across the road from our apartment) and then took a nice walk to the store.

During dinner, we watched the Strange Love marathon, which is absolutely fascinating.

Life seems to be looking up right now.  My first exam was a take-home, which I aced.  The weather is getting nice and warm.  I’m now sporting the beginnings of a nice tan (which, for anyone who knows how dark I can get, means I’m about 3 shades darker than most people get all year).  I’ll take my first karate lesson tuesday evening.  Idiot Coworker is leaving permanently next week.

And, of course, Boyfriend will be here in 12 days.

Life rocks.

Speaking of Idiot Coworker, she left work yesterday with her 13-year-old friend again.  She kept trying to show her off, as if I was going to be wowed by her sudden friendship.  Instead, I told her to come over and fix the morning paper work she did, as she wasn’t leaving until she could actually do it right.

Ooooh, the 13-year-old glared at me.  How terrifying!  I’m sorry, Idiot Coworker!  I’ll never be mean to you again!  For if I do, I’ll call down the wrath of your angsty pseudo-goth friend who just might cut herself in my general direction!  OH THE HUMANITY!

…I know that I should feel sorry for her, as she’s a sad human being with no friends her age and no hope of a real life…but I just can’t.  Dammit all, she’s treated me like shit for entirely too long.

So yes.  Life is grrrrrreat.  Also, I’m Tony the Tiger.

________Edit________

We did not have any milk in the house as it is filthy cow breast pus.  I’d rather have my tongue scalded off than drink milk.  Ewwww.