KiiiiiiYAH! *edit*

Aligned Left.  Do you see this?  I’m aligned LEFT.  I hope you all are happy.

Today was my first day of karate class.  I must say, I look positively smashing in my little get-up (a ‘gi’, is it?).  I’ll take a picture as soon as I have a belt (i.e. tuesday, the next time we have class.  I would have gotten the belt today, had it not been the first time I took class.  Apparently, you have to have come twice to get your first belt at this dojo).  I had to memorize some little dealie and recite it.  And I quote, “I intend to develop myself in a positive manner and avoid anything that would reduce my mental growth or physical health.”

I’ve given you one of the secrets of the Grand Masters.  Dear God, don’t send the Ninjas after me!

Some things I learned today:

1. Once I get a yellow belt, I can start wearing a black gi, which I will, because I’m a ninja and that’s what we wear, yo.
2. There are five year olds in this world that can kick my ass, provided I don’t pick them up and toss them (this from my teacher!)
3. Bowing into and out of a room is a complicated process meant to make a beginner look like a fool.  Actually, most stuff is designed to do that.
4. Karate can be used for self-defense, but it can also be used to cause excruciating torture on one’s own body…and that’s just to do simple poses.

I think it’s funny that I go from sailing, a sport for those who like massive quantities of alcohol and hubris, to karate, where I’m bowing to people so much that I’ve just decided to walk around hunched over like I’m looking for a missing contact lense.  That way, I CAN’T offend anyone!

Roommate got her white belt today (this being her second class).  Go Roommate!

I’ve realized that karate is scarily similar to marching band.  There’s that irritating ‘hold this position, no matter how hard it hurts’ factor that I THOUGHT I’d left behind after throwing my wallet at my band director and stalking out of the orchestra room…For those of you who’ve never done marching band, just stop to watch it some time.  Look at the brass players.  Look at how they hold their arms.  Think for a moment how very, very painful it is to keep your damn instrument in that position for hours on end.  It hurts.  Baaaaad.

Another fun thing is the ‘insert shouted noise here’ followed by the leader/sensei/band director saying “I can’t HEAR you!!!  LOUDER!”  Be is ‘Kiya!’ or ‘Hut!’, it makes me feel like I’m back in 4-H Camp at a spirit rally.

Thank God I learned to get over my shame in marching band.  I don’t feel like as much of an idiot for shouting random syllables at the top of my lungs now.

If only I could remember to bow to people…then I’d be set.

So yes.  Despite my bitching, Karate is fun.  Apparently, I get to learn to fight with kickass weapons.  It’ll be awhile (read: never) before I get to play with sais, but I DO know they’re for sale at $50 each at our dojo’s little supply store, so I can at least fawn over them.  Apparently, it’s nunchucks for me until I get to be supa-cool.

In the non-karate real world, there’s trouble in College Republicans paradise.  I’m the Vice President, which is odd for many reasons…namely 1) I am not a republican.  2) I did not (knowingly) run for the post.  3) I did not know I WAS running for the post until I was elected.  But I DID get to oust the world’s biggest bitch from her post, so huzzah!

Now, of course, FatAssMcAryan is pissed that the tainted blood of the non-pure Republicans is infiltrating her little club, so she’s gone to the head of clubs/organizations/blah blah blah and told her that we’re trying to turn the organization into a bunch of liberal bitches.

That’s kind of funny, because, you know, we’re not.  But whatever.  The truth doesn’t matter to zealots.

The problem with FatAssMcAryan is that she thinks only people who worship (Jesus first and then) G.W.B. can be conservatives.  I may not associate myself with the republicans, but I have this (ever fading) hope that the party can be salvaged from the monstrosity its become.  I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels that way.

Anyway.  FatAssMcAryan got her way with the head of clubs, who is a republican, and we now have to create a post for her despite the fact that she was ‘no vote’ed out of office.  The Board of Directors (i.e. all of the officers) is meeting tomorrow.  I suggested that we allow her to run for this newly created post.  If she gets voted in, then ‘yay’.  If she (again) receives all ‘no votes’ and only one vote for her (hers) like she did last time, then that obviously shows the club’s lack of faith in her.  If the head of clubs says this is unacceptable, then we take it to her boss, who is a democrat and therefore, hopefully nonbiased about who’s more republican than whom.

Grah.  I can’t believe this is an issue.  Seriously.  She’s alienated all of the members of the club by saying that no one is republican enough…she made one girl afraid to come back as an officer…she’s undermined the authority of our CR president.

In otherwords, she’s being a horribly stereotypical republican and we all want to claw her eyes out.

So I’ll update you all on how the meeting goes.  It’s all rather childish and therefore a good reprieve from the stress of school and exams.

In other OTHER news, Boyfriend is a stinky poo head because he won’t give me a birthday list.  His command of ‘be creative’ adds more stress to my already stressful feelings about gift giving towards him because nothing’s ever good enough.  So RAWR in his general direction.  And he’s not allowed to say ANYTHING because I gave him my birthday list the second he asked for it, a good 3 1/2 months early.  I’ve been begging him for one for months now.

And that about sums up life.  Huzzah.

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I just got back from the meeting with the Board.  FatAssMcAryan will be allowed to run for her position, but if (when) she does not get voted in, she just has to suck it up and move on.  Thank God.  The club hates her.  She might want to take a hint and leave.  People tend not to like you if you’re a bitch…esp if you don’t have any hotness to redeem you in people’s eyes.  That’s the only way I get by…

I also went ot the gyno today.  Ick.  I was told my cervix is a beautiful color.  Betcha never got THAT compliment before!