absolute

Well. I’m chilling in my living room listening to a 3 month old baby coo up a storm. My 3 month old baby. It’s more than surreal.

I don’t think I really was ‘bonded’ to him until he was born. Some people feel an overwhelming sense of love before their child is even born, but to be honest, I don’t think I really comprehended what it would be like or how he would be. I don’t even know if I fully comprehended that "oh hey, there’s going t be a legitimate BABY that comes out of this whole adventure." Armed with all my experience with babies (which was virtually none) I couldn’t really imagine loving him more than I love my dog. 

But now it’s different. 

Don’t get me wrong, I love my dog.
But there’s something embarrassingly shallow about that love.  

It’s kind of miraculous how love grows. I love Rich with all my heart, but it’s a different kind of love. Still powerful, still amazing. (Way more than my dog.) But the love I feel for Ben feels more like a love I never had an option with. It is a love that overwhelmingly takes you and holds you hostage.

And then what? 

Somehow there’s more.  I wonder if my comprehension of the love God has for humans is shallow as well.
Probably.

Perhaps someday I will look back on what I have experienced thus far and realize it was just puppy dog love and that the fullness of that love is way bigger and consuming than I ever could have thought possible.

Probably.