::Schism

I want to wax lyrical and dust off the bricks and mortar and whiskey and candles and invite you all in, but it seems this place is falling apart at the seams.

Several times in October, I’ve come to talk to you and Opendiary has told me to fuck off.  It’s a moody bitch, and there’s really no excuse for it.  I have worked in web hosting and web design for multiple companies, and I know more or less what’s involved.  To be blunt, Bruce’s disappearance has been shameful – the paying users of this site deserve better.  I’ve never paid a cent, and in fact I enabled AdBlock years ago when the pop-up ads became too much to manage.  So he’s taken a loss on me, I suppose.  That means I don’t get to hold a grudge. 

On the other hand, I do get to shake my head and laugh.  Other web communities of this side have made some of their creators into millionaires.  If this place had been handled correctly from the beginning, I think it would have been much the same.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Anyway.  That means this is another one of those damned entries to let you know that I’ve made a Prosebox account.  I’m not happy with that site, but it’s that or disappear from all of you and pop up by another name on Livejournal or WordPress or my own domain… and lose the community that is the only reason I do this at all.  Yeah, I do it for you.  Act appreciative. 

So anyway.  If you are over there, add me.  I’ll be sticking around here for the foreseeable future – maybe crossposting.  Even if I stop posting here, I’ll read you until the world burns down and we flutter away as ash.

Also, this is the part where I would normally apologize for skipping October utterly.  But, OD.  Also, I don’t owe you nuttin.  So there.  But, you get bullet points.

– I’m still feeling lonely and unfulfilled.
– I’m still feeling stifled creatively and haven’t done any writing.  I tried to start that smut piece I threatened you with and just couldn’t get into it.  I’m on the fence about NaNo, since I’d have to start, you know, tonight. 
– Trouble on the work front… an evil VP in another group has saddled my team with some of her group’s busywork – this is ~doubling my workload.  NOT cool.  If it’s not resolved by next summer’s peak time I’ll be stuck working nights/weekends to keep up and will probably have to find another job.
– My wonderful, passionless roommate of a wife turned up pregnant. after we were told that she was pretty much infertile.
– We had a week and some change get used to the idea, and she miscarried.
– Still processing that, not in a happy place, but not jumping-off-bridges either.
– I feel guilty for putting that very heavy shit into bullet points, but I’m still processing how I feel about the whole thing.  It was a rollercoaster:  I was lonely and feeling our bond fraying, like I was ready to just pack and head for the ocean… then she’s pregnant and I’m locked in and protective and *yeah*… then she’s in the hospital.  And….shit.  Anyway.  More later, maybe here, maybe on PB.