::Reintroduction, the Second

toplayalongathome:notmyideagarbage

In which our Protagonist refuses to call himself a Hero

O, my Canuckian taskmistress! Your humble servant begs permission to address your exalted ears with tales of his “learning life”, as you put it in your wisdom. He begs you to hearsee his words with mercy.

Anyway.

If I were human history, I cannot honestly say that my learning life is the Renaisssance. While I am doing my best to learn and grow and conquer, I’m finding a distinct lack of attainment in the Lore and Braininess department.

Let’s speak more plainly. It’s late, or early, depending.

I’m in college full time, in addition to my other endeavours. To maintain this state of education, I rely on the largesse of my fellow taxpayers and my own ability to stay under the radar of my government. (Thanks, government grants!)

Each semester, my disappointment in the “college experience” grows. I’m paying for this drivel in time, sweat, and cash. Yet it seems that most of these “tech” classes I’m taking are really exercises in jumping through hoops. I’m in my third semester. If I stop at an Associate’s degree, I’ve got one more coming. So far, what have I learned?

• Database design
• Beginner level SQL
• Beginner level Visual Basic
• Beginner level Java
• Fucking trigonometry.

None of this is going to get me a job when I get loose. None of it is increasing my existing skillset; the classes I took thinking to do that have been remarkably beneath my knowledge level (see: Web Design, Honors English Composition, Fundamentals of Speech, Web-Based Analysis & Design).

So far, college has taught me how to work hard for the first time in my life. How to think fast, bite hard and hold myself to a higher standard. For all my disdain of the curriculum, I am carving out a high 3.9 GPA for myself. I’m just concerned that this is all spinning my wheels — and I’ll still find myself grubbing for an entry-level job when I quit, same as I was doing before.

(Another gripe: I have not, contrary to the grand American comedy film, been inundated in nubile, willing college girls. I reserve the right to be bitter about that. The rest of you got a slutty phase!)

While I am grouchy about college, I’m also at an impasse. I look at the list of classes for Bachelor’s degrees. It looks like that’s where all the meaty, crunchy, delicious stuff is. PROFESSIONAL stuff.

On the other hand, I haven’t had a weekend free in almost two years. I miss my friends. I miss vacations. I’m not sure I can handle two more years of this gauntlet.

But if I quit, I lose my scholarships. If I go back to work, I lose my grants. So taking a year off is not an option.

Sink, swim, get off the boat? I don’t know. I can think about it until the springtime, at least.

With all that said, I am genuinely more knowledgeable than the scrub I was ten years ago. I understand people and even myself. I perceive and have developed callouses to the cruelties of the world, such as working for a living. I have abandoned virginity in favor of the fascinating world of carnal knowledge. I could probably give my younger self advice, although he obviously didn’t listen.