::Ephemeral

System Message

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I went back to the beginning of this diary, to snerk at my overwrought prose of yestertimes. To remember who I thought I was.

Every time I would get to the bottom of an entry, there were all these notes. All these people that were there with me, that watched me squirm and write and bounce about. I kept clicking on their names. System Message. System Message. System Message.

I will never find out what happened to any of these people. I cared about them, and for a couple of years we connected. Or I thought we did. But this Web thing was so flimsy and strange back then, and people drift. And stop typing.

I’ll never know how Sophie from Chicago ended up – I visited her once, and thought we had a killer time. I’ll never find out if ’emaline.’ killed herself or got through her dark times. Or Seer… what happened after she broke up with her darling boy? She was fascinating. And what about Liesl from Ohio, who I pen-palled with for a few months one year — real, handwritten letters. Did she graduate? Is she happy? And that Parliament fellow whose diary was so damned interesting of a read… a real man’s man, who just closed up shop one day and went elsewhere. A dozen more, easily.

Ghosts and echoes. System Message. System Message.

I miss you.

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July 16, 2010

I belonged to “mydeardiary.com” for a long long long time and then, without warning, the site was taken down. I lost everyone. I was lucky enough to find my two favorite reads here, which is basically why I nested here as opposed to anywhere else. But I still wonder about all of the others. I miss them a lot. : (

July 22, 2010

ryn: in all honesty I think I’m just very disarming. I don’t usually have anything but good intentions. And I like to think people know that about me.

July 28, 2010

I feel this entry so closely. I have returned to my diary after a couple year hiatus, but started it ten years ago. Oh, how I wonder where they have all gone.. I wonder if they have any idea of how much they are still a part of me. Take care.