3/11/08

I have so much to type about, but thought I’d just come by and give a quick update.  Although, it wouldn’t surprise me as I type if my "quick update" turns into something long and drawn out.

I resigned from the drill team, a decision that was extremely hard to make.  I have felt for a while that the time was getting close, but I was hoping that I wouldn’t ever feel that it was the absolute right thing to do.  I hope that they will find a way to help it grow and become what it can be.  They seem to have their own ideas, well away from what the team was originally founded to do.  I hope they take their ideas and can make the team succeed, saving many more horses who otherwise would have been killed or died.  I hope.  I am sure that I will always hurt for what could have been, it’s hard to let go of a dream.

A friend of mine and I have decided to move on and start a new rescue group.  Only time will tell if it really becomes anything or not, but I am sure it will in time.  I’m busy bringing these little lives here, and she’s busy with school.  Two years, we figure, to establish the group, raise funds (even if it’s our own funds) to be sure we have a savings to start, and do everything right from the beginning.  It sounds like we’ve settled on a name, which is a starting point.  Now, to register it, get a business license, and open up an account.  I look forward to this next year or two, as we discuss and really establish how this group will be ran, and after we are active – going for our 501c3.  Time – moving slow – taking all the correct steps along the way – and we will succeed.  I really look forward to it and all we’ll be able to do 🙂  I have the knowledge for seeing what potential a horse holds, nutrition, medical treatment, and training ability.  She has the love and passion, and is learning in all the other areas.  We both are able to listen to what the other has to say, while also firmly expressing our thoughts and coming to a mutual decision.  It’s a good match.  As the website is developed and a message board started, I’ll post it here.  It’ll still be a while though.

Spirit, my blind 3yo morgan filly, is doing great!  Her shoulder has healed beautifully, and she’s been given the clear by her vet to start under saddle with no weight limit.  Although this is something I believed would be possible, I was prepared for her to remain a pasture pet for her entire life.  Since I wont be able to start her for a few years, I have found the perfect trainer for her – someone who’s small and doesn’t weigh too much, is an excellent rider and very kind while also knowing when to be firm.  I love this horse so much, and look forward to my feedings each day.  Her eyes gleam when I pull up, and she loves to cuddle close – to be scratched all over, including her ears all the way to the tips.  She sure has my heart!!

The kids are all doing well and growing very fast.  Although a cold caught my 8yo a few weeks ago, my 3yo has a fever tonight and isn’t feeling the greatest.  I hope it’s gone pretty quickly.

I’m 20 weeks along in my pregnancy today!  My sixth child, and I’m still just bewildered how a new little life can grow inside of you.  I’ve been feeling her kicking since 13 weeks, wiggle a little twice these last two weeks, but yesterday was the most amazing feeling.  I was sitting at a stoplight and had leaned forward onto the steering wheel.  Inside of me, this child wiggled and pushed, and wiggled some more – – stopped briefly and wiggled again.  I could feel her body, and arms, pushing up against me.  OMG the feeling of love I felt was amazing!  I have another midwife appointment today, and the dad is able to make it.  We’ll be up an appointment here shortly for an ultrasound – it’ll be my first seeing this baby on the screen… I really look forward to it!  We’ll also find out for sure if it’s a boy or a girl.  It sounds like Mimi, my first surro-daughter and this baby’s big sister, will be able to be there also which will be SO exciting!  She realized this last summer that she grew in my tummy, which is making this pregnancy so much more exciting.  In the same tummy she grew in, her baby brother or sister is growing too 🙂

The mom of Cassidy, my near 11mo surro-daughter, is very sick 🙁  I knew the time was around the corner at some point, and knew that when I chose to grant this dream of this very dear friend of mine.  She is the most amazing mother and friend, and everything to her family.  We received a tentative diagnosis at the end of February, and now are waiting until May for a final diagnosis.  If it is what they believe it is, she’s being given 4-5 years left.  I can’t imagine loosing her, and can’t imagine Cassidy loosing her (not to mention her husband and older daughter).  She is an amazing person.  I am afraid.  I lost one very close friend 10 years ago, and was beside her when she died.  I don’t want to loose another, and another so young also.  It is so hard for me to see her trying hard to keep going ever day, and attempt to hide the pain she’s feeling.  Last week she ended up staying in bed for a few days because the pain was unbareable.  It’s hard to imagine "the time" ever coming, even though you know it’s a reality of what will be.  For those that are close to me, I am thankful for every single day that I have with them.  Life is so fragile, and where today we think we’re fine, tomorrow could never come.  She beat the odds before, was told she had stomach cancer and given six months – – the cancer disappeared and left the doctors baffled.  I pray it happens again for what she’s been diagnosed with now.  My heart has never hurt so much before, as I stand beside a friend I cherish completely – – and hold a child I pray who’s mother will be allowed to always be here to raise her.

The eating in the house has gotten better.  My 11yo son is highly sensative to sugar and simple carbs, and so for the most part we eat "raw"… fruits, veg, nuts, rice, beans, etc.  He has calmed tramendously, and is loving everything he’s able to make with all these delicious ingredients.  I still have a lot of learning to do on making recipes that include all these healthy foods but satisfy the desire of taste and texture.  It’s been fun!  I ventured tonight and made bread, but it didn’t seem to sit well with anyone really.  Maybe because of a possible bug, we’ll see.  Even my daughter who doesn’t eat the above way loved eating it but her tummy didn’t care to much for it.  Hmm.  I did go ahead and buy everyone a cooler, and snap top containers for the food.  Daily they are packed, allowing eating to happen throughout the day, which has been enjoyed.  Even for me – I seem to be on the go so much I don’t eat as much as I should nor as healthy as I should (atleast I feel so).  It has been wonderful to be able to be driving and be snacking at the same time.  Pick

up a child up from school, open another container, and continue snacking.  I love it!  I need to give a few things a try, making flax crackers (dehydrator) as well as making this ice cream (basically fruit depending on the recipe, no sugar or powder stuff though – but rather "live" things.  They look delicious!).

Ah, ok – see – here it was suppose to be a brief update and it turned into a book 😛  Shortly I’ll post pictures of everyone, but it’ll be a few weeks still I’m sure.

I enjoy reading all of my favorite and do come here often and do that 🙂