Homesickness…

Homesickness comes when I’m all alone at the end of the day… Looking through the box of what used to be my life… The memories have stacked up over the past twenty years… There’s the dress my mom made me when I was five years old and the matching one for my favorite doll… The doll, consequently, still fits in hers… There’s my favorite book when I was 12… Well really, my favorite series of books… I bought them all one at a time with my allowence money of 3 dollars a week… (My family had absolutely no money whatsoever) The entire series is still somewhat intact but incredibly musty in that old box… There’s the doll that started my porcelin doll collection… The one my sister and her best friend bought for me from an antique store for 5 dollars… Then my fingers found their way to a smaller box hidden inside one of the larger boxes that are filling up my terribly small rented room… My “Sissy Box”… You see the idea came to me when I was 9 to decorate a box and keep all of the things my older sister gave to me… As I look at the notes I began to cry… My sister was always sending me the stupidest cards and letter you’ve ever read to make me laugh… Then I found the card my nephew gave me for valentine’s day last year… “Happy Gooey Heart’s Day! Be my Valentine. Love, Caleb” It’s almost illegible, but it was so sincere I burst into tears… I miss home… I miss my sister and my nephews and my mom and my dad… I miss Mother Rene’s big old victorian house and the Christmas Parties and the train that broke last year, but always used to go around the little tree on the table… I miss freezing my butt off on Christmas morning at her house and running downstairs and getting a warm danish and hot chocolate… I miss my daddy rocking me in the mornings when I was little… Drinking his coffee and reading the paper to me… I miss sleeping in my sister’s bed when I got scared ’cause my brother made me believe that there were monsters outside my door… I miss the fire on the hearth in the wintertime… The brisk walk to the store with my friend… The feel of warm gloves on my hands before I go back outside to finish my snowman… I miss my childhood… And I’ll never get it back…