..theres no smoke without fire..

tomorrow will make 3 smokefree weeks for me..patch is doing the trick..vivid dreams are a pretty kickass sideaffect

i’ve noticed a dramatic difference in my complexion..my skintone, rosy..and i cannot stop talking to strangers

only negative i see is the "icanteffingpoop" thing..i dont even care about the extra 5 pounds i’ve gained..now when i eat i TASTE it and that in itself is orgasmic to me

and when i cook..mmmmm, i made salmon with garlic mashed potatoes, squash and wilted spinach last week, makes me wet thinking about it

loving dessert delights gum..my fave: mint chocolate chip..my jaw hurts like a bitch..wah

ari and i went to the dmv..both got our non-drivers id..i also picked up info on getting my learners permit..that is my next goal..to get a car and just GO!!!

headed down to shake shack after that..sat with our burgers, fries, and milk shakes by the water in battery park city..watched the hot joggers while pigging out..at one point a verrrrry sweaty russell simmons ran past us…thats the 2nd time i bump into him

spotted a new library..need to pay my fees..right now rereading the twilight series

had two d-related dreams this week:

..according to his facebook page, he was no longer married and had a new love interest…she was a redhead..(redder that i am)..with a toothgap (again, i have the same, hers more exaggerated) she was the antichrist of me..there were videos and pictures of her having wild parties..i couldnt understand what her appeal was)….that dream woke me up..and yes, i actually checked online to see if this had really happened..

it didnt…

last night’s dream: 

his wife wrote a long letter to me..she said i was nothing special..that my talk of music didnt make me more intelligent and in the end i dont matter to him..that i wasnt unique

it has been more than a month since i’ve ended things with him..i dont look at his pictures..deleted all texts some time ago..everytime a thought of him pops in my head, i remember his cold stare that night..or the many f*cked up things he did to me throughout the years..i fill my head with the negative..and i imagine me cutting a very thick string..an umbilical cord like thing..which represents the connection we once had

so i’ve given it a lot of thought..i plan on moving out of new york within 5 years..which is why i need my driver’s license..i can do without winter permanently..

last year’s fling was on tv again..another competition show..he was the first person eliminated..lol i was so happy that his huge ego got deflated a bit..i still kind of like him..i never did delete his number..just in case…

bought the 2nd evangelion dvd..and some yoga and ballet work out dvds as well..might join a gym or dance class..we shall see..

going to start cooking in a few…but first, must catch up on my french lessons and reading..