…long heels..red bottoms..

raining again..last night the heat was so high that it melted several lipsticks that were sitting on my windowsill..but not your fave shade of red..wonder if you really burned the shirt that my lips accidentally brushed up against..tossed and turned until about 3 am..walked in the dark to an open window just to release my pent up frustrations..felt like your hands waking my skin..your hot breath stroking my neck…even in memory you never fail to transport me to another planet..i whispered your name upon completion..like always..

opened up the vault of bbm conversations again..i miss the give and take..our scatterbrained topics that always led to sex..like last visit when we both tried to behave and wound up in various stages of undress at the end of it anyway..and i know it wasnt just that..sex i mean..but that was how we communicated the best..

some people hold hands..call each other mushy names..write poetry..give massages..buy gifts..we expressed ourselves sexually..it was the only way we could let our guard down..more like venetian blinds..revealing one section at a time..

all of this talk doesnt change what is currently going on…i need you to understand what your life is missing with me gone..i need it to really sink in..you must see for yourself..i will be waiting until then..

although waiting is incorrect..more like i will carry on as best as i can..and if i find someone else in the process i know you won’t think negative of it..after all, you are my biggest cheerleader, or so you once said..

time to get dressed..going to see eclipse w/ari..

ps: even though i’m sad..that doesnt take my sexy away..if anything it multiplies..intensifies..i need an outlet..

the time for troublemaking is near..youtu.be/owz_JVQuxkA

i’ll try to behave 😉