..king of the hill for a queen of the damned..

have some time before i pick up ari from the airport, looks like she had a great time in la with my sis. 

the 6am texts of her looking like a 21 year old hopping from club to club in vegas was only giving me more greys..

of course to them it was highly amusing, but the images reminded me of the naive teen i was, playing dress up..getting in trouble..and yeah ari is nowhere like i was and its not that i dont have faith in her, its the alcohol and hungry men for virgin 18 year old flesh that i dont trust..

on monday i start my new job…and everyone at my current one is freaking out..its finally hitting them and i dont give a fugggghhh

excited, but nervous as well..this is the big league, the first step on the upwards climb to my dream job..

back to smoking a pack and a half daily..havent ran the bridge since i hurt my knee…cannot quit until friday..will need the nicotine to get me through my last official day at that toxic place..

philly trip with d…

on sunday it will make two weeks and i havent really digested my feelings..or rather i dont want to face the bad aftertaste..

the trip itself was fine..my room was a converted apartment with a balcony..the view was amazing..he and i got along like we always do..comfortable, buddy buddy…but i cant ignore the something that is missing..

he emailed yesterday after 5 days of silence, and i replied that i need time..that i am not ready to speak just yet..

still not ready…but i will jot down the puzzle pieces here..periodically..

youtu.be/KZvE7dQ-C5o