ishq par zor nahin hai ye vo aatish ghaalib

http://www.youtube.com/watch

was a ball of energy..couldn’t contain the electricity in me..bursting at the seams..

snuck an extra day off for next week’s schedule..see if i can start christmas shopping..

and i’m definitely going to try to join a dance class..or start working on getting my driver’s license..

tomorrow i will whip out my drawing pad..see if i can excersize my demons with colored pencils and paint..

d used to draw..got really good at it..hope he starts again..

i sincerely wish we could be friends, but it would never be innocent

we both know this…one moment of weakness, and the painful cycle begins again..for me anyway..

i was so quick to throw away my friendship with ash..several factors came into play with him..

1st being his location..small town in the midwest,..he has two small kids..his wife took their house and business..he is forced to begin again..he needs to find himself..much too vulnerable, and i refuse to be his rebound woman..oh and of course, the ex-wife has always hated my guts, wouldn’t want to be caught in that triangle..

love defeats all right? perhaps it’s just infatuation then..

d…sigh…for him i’d move anywhere..do anything he’d ask of me…scary, how much power he has over me..i’m sure deep down he knows it..

but without reciprocation..is it worth it?

he met the green me, many moons ago..cannot erase scratches on this chalkboard..

and so i move on..until his shadow no longer lurks around the corridors of my heart..

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work..during, and after

another entry later…

**edit: photobucket removed one of my pics?? wtf lol..yeh, let’s try it again and see…what term of service did i violate??..sheesh**

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