..Calling out your name, my lips keep failing..

so backed up at work..

huge pile of issues that need to be addressed..

tomorrow i will begin tackling them one by one..

at my leisure..eff that

funny, im not stressing..taking it all in stride..my point will be proven when shit hits the fan

i didnt drop the ball..but im no longer going to hurt myself trying to juggle it all..

 

he emailed me..at a decent time this morning..

and i havent nor will i respond

but its not out of spite..just need some time to think

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch

 

i want to be fair..and mature in this situation..at some point i will be able to express myself in a sensical way…

i love him..i do know this..not because he is my lover..the sex portion is still a new development between us

i love him because of the years that we’ve kept in touch..because sometimes when we text, email, etc..we are on the same page..i sometimes forget who said what because our thoughts are so simliar..we often say the same thing at the same time..and even when its been a while, its almost as if the blank space of time never existed..we have our own language

our chemistry has a distinct heartbeat

sometimes i feel him thinking of me and moments later there comes the text

during our visits, the happiest times to me are when we chitchat..doesnt matter whats said..its the eye contact..the fact the we’ve both met our match..a challenge..a code not easily cracked..

no matter how heated the argument..we wind up laughing at the end of it..or at least we try to iron out the kinks..pop open the hood..figure out the mechanics of it..he gets the credit for this…im hot-headed but because of d, ive learned think before i speak

i call him my jimney cricket..he laughs..but knows exactly what i mean by that

he’s my gentle giant..well..maybe not always gentle..he can be a beast..mmm..i get the credit for egging on that side of him..

hes the big to my tiny..the manly to my sometimes girly ways…intelligent..funny…magnetic..a chameleon, just like me…

of course he’s not perfect..neither am i

i see the insecurity..and love him more for it

 

now for the not so good parts:

he’s never really shared what he feels for me..not verbally

we both have a hard time with showing affection via "normal" methods

he’s taken and i don’t believe that he’s ever been faithful to any woman

i either love him or hate him..there’s no inbetween

 

have had my contact lenses in for over a month..its like looking through a foggy windshield..

time to sleep..hopefully my dreams bring some clarity..