…And I’ve given all I have…

2:30 am, and this is fast becoming my favorite time of the day..

arrived home an hour ago perhaps..sat and scanned through a bridal magazine that i had purchased at the train station..kiosk guy made a wrongful assumption..i laughed it off..said that i was just window shopping..

some drunk guy kept jumping onto the subway tracks..was having a hard time hauling himself back out…luckily he sorted it out in time..

sad..when i drink i probably look just like that..i dont even want to think about the last time..which is why i try to avoid alcoholic beverages in social settings if i can..

work, a hot mess of activity, but then again everyday is…somehow i was picked to greet the visiting nba team..which was like shoving icecream in my face and not offering me any…wah!

d is 6 foot 5…me, only 5 feet…i kept reminding myself to not visibly drool in their presence..it was over so quick, thankfully..as if i need reminders of jerkface…one baby step at a time..

dreamnt with him last night…

he was at my home visiting..my mom and ari were there..i distracted them for a little while so he and i could sneak away unseen..i was wearing my pink pajama shorts..and i bent over to pick something off the floor..before i knew it he umm rammed me so the speak..literally 2 seconds later he zipped up..seriously..2 seconds??..i began to argue with him…"what about my happy ending??"  (which is odd because at the end of our affair he was really in tune with my physical needs)…so he morphed into my prior ex mid-rant…i dont recall the rest but i have had dreams where they’ve become the same person..a part of me seems to know why..i dont want to draw those lines..its best if i forget..

its over..i get it..and i will get over you, like ive gotten over them

youtu.be/ICsZKhwLQnA