Welcome Back!

 I am finally back from the loooong break from OD. those of you who had followed me for a while, probably notice by now i have deleted ALL of my old entries. I was keeping the past as far as 2006…and that is bad. I left on a bad note and i apologize to my readers that had to be left on a cliff hanger of drama lol 

despite everything that has happened in the past, i have been making my own journey of being a better person. my new boyfriend and also an old high school crush has been a great influence on me.

about Butterz:

yes, his name his butterz, his real name is ryan, but since we already had a ryan in the group and we were all south park fans, butterz has become his name. back in 2006, i had a crush on this boy who was the quiet type. i never had the nerve to talk to him. he was apart of the skater group of the neighborhood i was living in at the time too. one day, in 2007 or 2008, he disappeared and i hadnt really heard from him since. he wasnt a big part of myspace or facebook really so it would be months until i’d get a hi or a small conversation with him. i missed him a lot because when i was 19/20 doing the parties and whatnot, he wasnt there to hang around. i always felt safe by him. in the meantime i went through a horrible guy after guy phase, a rocky 3 yr relationship and 3 bad rebounds. just as i was going back to the guy after guy phase, i was going to visit my ex’s dad (very, very good friends with his dad and his brother) and all of a sudden he was on their couch. february 2013 he finally came back. it took me a while to realize who it was because he gotten all skinny and i gave him the biggest hug in the world. then i got shy. for some reason, i couldnt strike up a conversation but i was always doing the goggly-eyed stare. i started going over to my ex’s house more and more (he has a new girlfriend that i adore more than him haha), whenever my ex, his dad and his brother would leave for work or whatever, id still stay to hang out with him. we never really spoke, just watched movies and tv shows on dvd. 2 weeks in, i started scooting closer to him and staying late to fall asleep next to him on the L-shaped couch. eventually we’d just started drinking together and start flirting hardcore but never did anything until one night he started everything lol it hit the 3 week mark since the 1st time i saw him and on March 11, 2013 i asked "What are we?" since he was staying until 3 am at my house then leaving when i fell asleep. and he said "I dont know". thats when i finally punched it in, "want to make it official?" hes all "sure, if you want" i was so happy that i finally done it. he is so untainted. im only his 2nd girlfriend he ever had and he is the typical nice guy that usually girls wont go for. but his eyes are so true and green that i can tell hes it. even today he wonders why im staring at him lol my creepy stare of the creepy chick with the shit-eating grin on my face. we’ve been learning a lot about and from each other. and theres more years to come i know it.

that is my love life lol now onto my educational:

i just graduated with my associate’s degree in graphic design. yay! but theres no jobs for my here…not even in arizona. i want to expand my education. ive been experimenting with 3D design and so far it’s going pretty well! (by the way, my online portfolio is rebekahdowling.weebly.com, let me know what you think!) i have recently found a great kick in the RoosterTeeth guys. millions of people want to work with them and that includes me, but who really goes through with the education to actually even get an internship there? what i want to do by next year (crosses fingers) is to get into Austin School of Film to learn film production, video editing and some 3D design. I’d like to intern at RoosterTeeth, if i dont get a job there, oh well…id be bummed but it’d be a great experience to at least intern with them. That still means i’d have a few certificates under my name and more opportunities to get a better career.

Lets sum up the house situation:

the house im living in..well my landlord wanted to give 30 notice so she can have only 1 person on the lease, i plead to give me a change. i had myself, butterz and this guy mike. finally got my sister in too. well…mike hasnt paid rent on time since he moved in and he makes what i make in 1 week. i get about $550 a paycheck for 2 weeks and he gets that every week and cant pay rent on time while i can??? whatever. he spends its on going downtown, girls and his luxuries. i even told him that his cell phone wont do a good job being a roof over his head. he still owes me $820 including late fees for rent and utilities. for some reason, he just cant "afford" it. even after he goes travelling all the time. cant sue because my landlord does everything by word. its a bond of trust…ya you can trust me but not people like him. we’re going to change it to a paper lease very soon. i was so panicked about the situation that i was preparing to live in a tent because of how behind we were on rent because of that douchebag. now its getting better…slowly but it is. going to get 2 more trustworthy people in soon.

that is my situation right now. ill catch up with my bookmarks soon! thanks guys!