Mermaid birthday party

 So yesterday was the amazing kisa surprise birthday party. it was mermaid/disney themed. her birthday was in the middle of the week but her boyfriend (who is my brother…well not blood but i call him my brother) set up the party at my house…by the way she just turned 27 haha

it was so much fun. much needed, even butterz had a good time. last SCA event (which i will explain SCA shortly) he didnt feel like he fit in because he’s so shy. everyone loves him, the people that have heard him talk a lot know hes an awesome guy. 

anyways…the party outfits. i wanted to be princess zelda…then i just turned into a mermaid haha steph had an awesome make-shift slim fitting dress and put cute scales on us. ill probably see some pics in a couple of days and share it. the birthday girl had gotten pampered by steph with scales and made a pretty cool mermaid outfit out of her shirt, a scarf and my skirt. the guys…ahh the guys were hilarious. steve was a moose, brian was tigger, jay was a frilly pirate and neo was a sailor. decorated the house with streamers and made fish and jellyfish out of streamers and balloons. kisa all n all was excited about it 🙂

Happy birthday PRINCESS BATMAID! (she had a "birthday princess" sash on and a batman belt …plus she was a mermaid haha) 

as for work…ahh that horrid place. i keep getting into arguments with the boss and coworkers..sometimes they just need to stop being bullshitters. i call on their bullshit and they always change their story to make them out to be innocent. like my boss, i know how he works. when he says "you better get your numbers today! all i hear is you guys, no one else is talking" that means "you arent working" been hearing that for years so i called him out on it and when i confronted him, he totally denied it and changed his story. he then said "dont forget who youre talking to" yeah….an ASSHOLE. i didnt say that but i knew the ONLY thing between us is his title. THATS IT. this is where i got hit right in my pride. the corporate man….im a slave to them. as an anarchist, it hurts…but theres nothing else i can do in this city or state. the way that people work bug me. how can you lie to make yourself look innocent when someone called on your bullshit? how can you continue to embarrass yourself? when i give up because your EGO overpowers common sense, then youre happy…how can you be happy for lying your way out of a situation. because you won? i dont get it. you won, but youre wrong. you convinced yourself you were right but you know youre not…how is that satisfying? i dont get it. i cant comprehend how people can continue to lie even when everyone else knows the truth….just stop. the argument between my boss and i were witnessed with at least 9 people. everyone was quiet, i stood up to the corporate man and he snaps back with his title. i stood up to the corporate man and he snaps back with his title….had to repeat it…its really silly. he knows my ideas work and he knows im right…i also have seniority over him..but he doesnt listen to me. he waits and waits and waits until SOMEONE ELSE brings up the same idea THEN he does it. it was MONTHS before we got another person in my department to hit quota. he continued to harass us about not hitting quota while ignoring the fact that i threw down that we CANT do this without being fully staffed. then, we get a transfer 3 months later, hires several people. puts them in cloth, in operations, and the other side departments, but not miscellanous (my department). it took another worker to say, "let me help miscel get their sort numbers" for him to give us the transfer….

ugh…anyways. ive been looking for other jobs, but no one takes locals. such a high number of people looking for jobs and they choose college kids so they can pay them less…i have loyalty within a company and an AAS degree in graphic design. doesnt make sense…i had gotten emails from companies saying that they found someone else. its hard in this town. butterz might have a job opportunity at Collins Irish Pub (not really an irish pub…they use it for a club hotspot…its very disappointing. i go there when the dumbass college kids arent there) by my friend missy. she was buzzed when she was being enthusiastic about him working there so im going to shoot her a text to remind her lol that would help a lot…i NEED financial help. i saw a picture of butterz from a little while ago comparing to now…hes right, he really has gotten skinny. its upsetting. ive been losing weight too because its great…but with him being super twiggy. ugh…its hard to feed us both on one income and i only make $8.99/hr. ya they couldnt even give me the extra penny…go figure. it sounds like 1st world problems, but when it comes down to it…yes there are people out there that have it worse, but im living MY life, not theirs. i cant keep feeling for other people…what about me? just sayin..

thats what it comes down to…me. i never get to take care of me. when i do, life doesnt allow me to go forward. it seems like i HAVE to help someone else and not myself. no license, no car, dont have a job in my major (apparently it happens a lot..which is what i was afraid of in the first place), i hate this town and want to move out. if im able to stick with savers for just a bit longer, i can transfer to austin. they have 3 savers down there to choose from. that means i have a job when i move there and i can find another one…its so much cheaper there. 

i do get scared of the fact of moving away from my friends and family. my first time away in pennsylvania wasnt a good experience at all. the state is beautiful but the lady i was living with was horrible. i just have a feeling if i get to start over somewhere else, then maybe i can restart my happiness. i cling onto (lol i said klingon) what little i have but i strive for more.

ending this entry…just saw how long it was lol