Your Mother Is Trying To Kill You!!!

Did you know that President Bush and his cronies are the reason for the tsunami that devastated Asia? According to a very revealing letter to the editor from eager liberal Janie McDowell of Napa, CA to The Napa Valley Register, it’s entirely true.

“Doesn’t our government realize that every time we bomb Iraq the explosion reverberates to the earth’s core like a ripple on water? Does not the Bush Administration know that for every action there is a reaction? …I hold the Bush Administration responsible for this recent catastrophe! Every day we bomb Iraq, the vibrations resound to the very core of our planet, the only home we know. The planet is responding and we’re experiencing the effects. The next time it could be catastrophic for all of us! What can be done to stop this madness! Are the American people so blasé and blind? What good will their three-story dingbat palaces, fast cars, and up-to-the-latest fashion in clothes do them when we go flying off into space? … My priority is stop the Bush Administration from using weapons of mass destruction to kill people and our planet.”

Amazing how sometimes people can be so blinded that scientific facts on the way the planet works can go “flying off into space” so that they can spout off their bizarre theories. Forget about plate tectonics. Forget about the fact that the reason we don’t go flying off into space is because of gravity, which exists because of the earth’s mass-not because we aren’t being swept away by tidal waves.

I think the average American has much more to fear from people like Janie McDowell than they ever will have to fear from bombs in Iraq.

But this whole thing has me thinking that perhaps there is something that Miss McDowell and tree-huggers alike haven’t considered. Perhaps tsunamis, tornados, earthquakes, and the hole in the ozone are a sign of something much more dangerous to mankind. Perhaps Mother Nature doesn’t really like us that much and is trying to kill all her children.

Think about it for a minute. People have been dying in natural disasters since before the start of recorded history. Floods, lightning strikes, volcanoes, avalanches, and even the last ice age are evidence that people have been fighting for their lives against the effects of Mother Nature for thousands of years or more.

Before we humans were even smart or numerous enough to hurt and scar our great Mother, she was killing us off. Imagine the surprise of the great environmentalists of the city of Atlantis when, after all they did to live harmoniously with Mother Nature, she decided to drop them all into the sea and drown them. Or consider the horror of the members of the Pompeii chapter of the Sierra Club when Mount Vesuvius erupted and buried the entire city under tons of ash and rubble, killing and mummifying them all.

Is there some way that we can possibly make amends with Mother Earth? What could early humans have possibly done to offend our Mother so greatly so that she would be killing us off for all this time? How can we make her stop without destroying her?

I think that if Mother Earth IS trying to kill us off, that it’s most likely because of people like Janie McDowell who are extremely retarded, as well as the editors of The Napa Valley Register for even printing her letter (although I admit, it WAS a little fun to read).

I say we fight fire with fire. The battle against Mother Earth can have only one victor. Either we will come out on top and survive her relentless attacks, or human beings will become extinct. Run your SUV’s as often as possible to make her choke, throw trash on the highway to bury her, pour chemicals in her rivers and oceans to make her blood toxic.

We must win and we must survive. We must be around at least long enough to break free of our planet and find ourselves one which is better suited for habitation and won’t try to kill us off.

PS-The entire letter from Janie McDowell can be found at http://www.napanews.com/templates/index.cfm?template=story_full&id=746F2DE0-FB74-45E7-B456-5EB95768071A

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“She shines
In a world full of ugliness
She matters
When everything is meaningless
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Fragile
She doesn’t see her beauty
She tries to get away
Sometimes
It’s just that nothing seems worth saving
I can’t watch her slip away
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I won’t let you fall apart
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She reads the minds of all the people as they pass her by
Hoping someone can see
If I could fix myself I’d-
But it’s too late for me
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I won’t let you fall apart
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We’ll find the perfect place where we can run and hide
I’ll build a wall and we can keep them on the other side
…but they keep waiting
…and picking…
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It’s something I have to do
I was there, too
Before everything else
I was like you.”
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Nine Inch Nails