December 27, 2002

Up Too Late

Yeah, I’m still up (it’s 1:45 on FRIDAY night, even if the date says Saturday). Anywhose, I just spouted out some stuff in an IM conversation that I want to remember tomorrow, so what better place to put it? Might as well get my monies worth.

hell, I’d give almost anything to be happy for just a little while (for real)

but even the times I laugh, the laughter is just hollow echoes from the past when I really knew what it was like to laugh

and when I smile it’s just stretching a mask that i wear to keep people from getting worried about me

because deep down inside I know that I’ll never be at peace with anything, and I can never be satisfied with any of the answers that life has to offer to my questions

our happiness is as shallow as the things we chase

but it allows us to all wear fake smiles and have strong handshakes and we can all fool each other into thinking that everything is good and life is wonderful

so there. Hakuna matatta. Don’t worry, be happy. And all that stuff.

dj_johnnyquest

okay, so you realize you’re gonna be unhappy forever. so be happy about being miserable. welcome to my world. where all hope is dead. hakunafuckingmatata

I understand unhappiness,but to thrive on it,I just don’t get.Love & Peace,Monica

*RYN* Christian isn’t just a label to me. It means Having Faith and Believing in Christ. Which I do. Not that I always have,Life has gotten better for me and The “Grace” of Christ is responsible for that.I won’t preach to you,Its just My belief for me 🙂 Peace & Love,Monica

Ehh, you’re young yet. I find that as I get older, it’s just easier to default to happiness.

Is anyone out there happy? Seriously. I don’t know a single fucking person that is honestly happy. What the hell is that? <3

And when people say, “how are you?”. We’ll say, “I’m fine” and be on our way.

right on you saved it! i did quote you on the happiness chase part (told you i would). thats awesome, good late night conversation. glad you wrote it down. should i feel bad about conjering such good writing from you, cuz of the subject matter? okay good, thought not! hehe

TheNameOfTheGame

January 1, 2003

You know, as I was reading this. I can see where you get a lot of it. But to say that we are “all” fake is kind of too broad of a generalization for me. :o)