SEX SUCKS!!!!

Well hey there.

As I suppose it’s fairly obvious, I’m back from my little adventure to Illinois. I don’t know if there is some sort of cosmic law of cause and effect that says that for every good thing that happens to people, bad things have to happen too, but sometimes I wonder. After getting back last night I was talking with my parents (because of course they wanted to hear all about it) and after I gave them the 60 second low-down of the trip, my dad was like, “Well, my brother Bob died over the weekend.”

Now technically it was only his half-brother, since they only had the same mom, and he had only talked two him twice since I’ve been alive (only on the phone). Still, I think it is kind of weird for him. Oh well, what can you do? The guy was 70 and had a heart attack while watching TV.

It’s been a weird day for me though because I’ve been in a bit of a good mood. Maybe it was just the little weekend vacation. Today I was trying to put my finger on exactly why it is that I go down to see my buds in IL every few months. Not that there is anything bad about it that would cause me to NOT go down there, because we’re friends and I like hanging out with them (and would most likely do it more often if I had the chance). But I was thinking, “That can’t be the only reason. It seems like that’s only a part of it.”

The conclusion I came to is that it is one of the best “escapes” I know of. I can get 400 miles away from everything that is familiar to me and go hang out with some of my favorite people on the planet. I can go an entire weekend without having to live my “normal” life.

Or maybe it’s just cause when I’m down there I’m happy (if I’m not sleeping on the couch).

After pondering the escape thing for a while I had to admit that I pretty much spend all my energy trying to escape this thing that has come to be known as my existence. Anything that can get my mind off of it is my friend. Although escape may not be the correct word because that implies getting away, when in fact “reality” eventually comes back down on me like a wave on a surfer. Then as I’m being crushed and tumbling in the current I frantically try to find something, anything, to help me get my head above water and get another breath of air.

Perhaps that is the thing I pursue to keep me semi-sane, since chasing after things is the only thing that really gives people any sense of purpose in life (whether they be materialistic or not, everyone is chasing after things). I spend my life pursuing ways to escape my life. How weird is that?

Speaking of more weird…

At work one of my “bosses” (actually, she’s just a dispatcher there, so she tells me where to go) is a chick who is a fairly attractive, 23 year old who somehow continually has guy problems. So I came in this morning and she was out of the room and my main boss was all trying to get me to ask her out. I was like, “Dude!…No!” So he asked why and somehow I said, “I’m never getting married.” Suddenly, every one of the other five guys in the office stopped talking and looked at me like I had hopped on the counter and dropped my pants.

Then one of the other drivers (who happens to have the same name as me) says, “Well how are you ever gonna get booty if you ain’t married, you gotta be married for that,” (And yes, a white country boy did say “booty”).

I then pointed out that technically you don’t have to be married to get “booty,” and that if that’s all you’re interested in you can get some for under $50 at the corner of Lake St. and Portland in Minneapolis. I also pointed out that if you’re just getting married to get laid, that it’s a very shallow reason.

By then all the guys were looking at me like I was still on the counter with it all hanging out, but also shouting “I’m gay!!!!” at the top of my lungs.

I could’ve gone on longer about reasons to not get married, but I figured I’d given them enough stuff to talk about me when I left.

People and society are so retarded. I really do think sex is overrated. In fact, I wanna make a shirt (hehe, I almost typed “shit,” and that would truly be a feat…) that says “SEX SUCKS!!!” in super big letters (now do you see why that would be difficult?), just because it’s funny to see people’s responses. Most people are just like, “You’re whacked” or “What the hell is wrong with you?”

Anywhose, that was one of those (many) times when I was (and am) ashamed to be human.

“Don’t open your eyes, you won’t like what you see

The devils of truth steal the souls of the free

Don’t open your eyes, take it from me

I have found

You can find

Happiness in slavery.” –Nine Inch Nails