Oink Joint

Anyone who’s ever gone on a road trip knows how sometimes things you see along the way can be interesting, funny, or just plain strange. Today I saw some of the latter.

Being as how I drive a semi, it isn’t unusual for me to have to take a road trip for work. I had to run up to the Arctic Cat plant in Thief River Falls, MN (pretty close to Canada) to get a load of ATV’s.

It was dark the whole way up since I left at 2:00AM, but yet as I was a few hours into my trip I was still able to make out a rather strange street name on a sign. Oink Joint Road.

What the hell is an “oink joint?” Is it named after some old hippie who tried to make “hybrid” pork by giving them weed? Could it be the name of the bar where all the swine farmers go after a hard day of feeding hogs and cleaning up crap? Did someone think they were clever when they thought of that name?

I kept driving and not even 20 minutes after seeing Oink Joint Road, I saw a sign welcoming me to some little town. Granted, this isn’t an uncommon occurrence since most small towns like to at least appear friendly. Yet this little butt-hair on Mother Earth (I believe it was Frazee, MN) had a sign I’ve never seen before…

“Home of the world’s largest turkey.”

Not only is Frazee the home of the world’s largest turkey, you can actually VISIT this monstrosity of nature. I don’t know if it’s still alive or if it’s stuffed or what, because I didn’t stop.

I’m pretty sure I’m not the only person who’s driven past their little tourist trap without stopping.

On my way back I saw a few things I had missed in the darkness that preceded the dawn. The first thing was a lady who was out enjoying the early morning with her dog and her (I’m assuming it was hers) baby that was in a stroller. This may not sound like anything out of the ordinary, but she was on rollerblades and had the dog hooked to the stroller so it pulled the child, and then her as she hung on. Hopefully she rigged up a way to steer her little train before coming to an intersection.

A bit later I got to see a strange marriage of horticulture and plumbing. Somewhere in the White Earth Indian Reservation was a house with toilets for flowerpots. Yes, real, white, porcelain toilets with the lids and tops of the tanks removed.

Maybe these are all just good ideas that haven’t quite taken off yet. Minnesota IS the state that somehow produced Prince, who is quite famous and has a bit of a following, despite not being entirely normal.

Minnesota is also the state to give birth to water skiing. For those who don’t know, it was originally done without boats and people used pontoon airplanes to pull them instead. Imagine how strange that must’ve looked the first few times people tried it.

The beginning of next week I get to spend a few days in South Dakota, which is pretty much one long line of tourist traps. The Corn Palace, Wall Drug, the donkey from Dances With Wolves, can all be seen along I-90.

I can’t contain my excitement.

*
“And as your heart is bent and broken
And every vision has been cast into the wind
And your courage crashes down before your eyes
Don’t lay down and die
*
Cause I see in you
More than you’ll ever know
And I ask you why
You question the strength inside
And you need to know
How it feels to be alive.”
*
Alter Bridge