Kerrygate And Forrest Gump

Although I’m a bit more politically minded now than I have been in past election years, it really isn’t often that I write about politics in my diary. Yet the events of this last week have me a bit tickled and so I figured I’d weigh in on them.

According to Dan Rather and 60 Minutes and CBS, some “documents” were obtained that were never a part of President Bush’s military records, but yet were still pertinent to his military service (or disservice, as they and the democrats would have you believe). Supposedly they came from the personal possession of the Presidents deceased commanding officer.

The funny thing is, that the “documents” are “suspicious,” at the very least, and perhaps even fakes.

Bush’s former commanding officer died back in the 1980’s so it’s impossible to go and ask him if the documents are real or not (not without a good Ouija board anyhow). Strangely enough, no one can seem to find any originals; all that we know that exist are copies (which can easily be manipulated).

To top it all off, Dan Rather and CBS will only say that they stand behind their story and their sources and maintain that the copies that they received are honestly copies of true documents.

Personally, I find this whole thing rather (no pun intended) funny. By trying to cover this up and divert attention and say, “You’ll have to prove me wrong” as Mr. Rather did, all they’ve done is dig themselves into a deeper hole than they were in when they ran the story.

According to some CBS insiders who wanted to remain anonymous, CBS got their “documents” from someone either in the Democratic Party or from John Kerry’s campaign.

So why do I find this whole thing funny? Shouldn’t I be appalled at a major news company possibly making a story up? I find it funny because although it’s a bit of an extreme example, it shines a bright light on the cockroaches in the liberal media who have tried and tried to do everything to take out the President. What I find even more funny is that despite all the ways they’ve tried to help out Kerry, all the ways they’ve tried to make people doubt the President, all the ways they’ve tried to color stories to make Bush out to be the bad guy, he’s still ahead in many of the polls.

The people (meaning liberal democrats) who try and make themselves out to be the party of “normal America” are somehow finding “normal” Americans favoring President Bush in spite of all their best efforts and every trick they can think of.

One thing I think Kerry should consider is a new public image campaign. I don’t know if anyone has considered this, but John Kerry has some things in common with Forrest Gump, and he should embrace that.

Forrest Gump was a hit movie about a very loveable character. Gump said many clever things that became a part of common language for a while, and thus was memorable.

If you recall in the movie, Forrest Gump was in Vietnam when his unit was under fire and taking heavy casualties. As Gump was carrying a wounded comrad over his shoulder and out of harm’s way, he fell to the ground yelling “Something bit me!” Gump had been shot in the ass.

After getting stateside again, Gump got a medal for saving his fellow soldiers and for getting shot in the ass. He was at the White House and got to meet President Johnson who asked Gump where he was shot. “In the butt-tocks,” was Gump’s reply. President Johnson said, “I’d really like to see that,” and so Gump showed him.

According to the John Kerry version of event that happened in Vietnam, he too was wounded in the ass. Just forget that the doctors who “treated” Kerry for his wounds said that none of them were serious and only required a band-aid.

Just think, if Kerry adopted the Forrest Gump persona he could say things like, “Momma always said ‘The Senate is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get or if you’ll want to put one back and take a different one later on.’” His supporters could rally around the “Run Kerry, run!” battlecry.

Then again, perhaps there are too many “normal” Americans that see through Kerry and his chums in the media. Maybe no amount of clever disguising can make people honestly like the guy for who he is. It’s possible that no clever sayings can get him in the White House. After all, stupid is as stupid does.

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“A man lies in his bed in a room with no door. He waits for a presence; something, anything, to enter. After spending half his life searching he still feels as blank as the ceiling at which he stares. He’s alive, but feels absolutely nothing…so is he?
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When he was six he believed that the moon overhead followed him. By nine he had deciphered the illusion, trading magic for fact; no trade-backs. So this is what it’s like to be an adult. If he only knew now what he knew then.
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Pearl Jam