Invitation

This is gonna be super short cause I’m not in a writting mood today.

It’s been kind of an up and down day. I almost got stuck in the ditch, and I also got rear-ended at work (guess who won that one…semi or car? Semi or car? Hmmm…gotta think…..).

I got home and I was playing Xbox and eating when I got a call from my parent’s pastor. He said he has a “word of encouragement for me” and wants to get together.

Now, I know this sounds stupid, but I reaelly hate saying “No” to people for anything, unless I have an absolutely, positively, concrete reason to do so. And I figured that my parents have something to do with it, or at least know that he wants to try to talk to me, and so I know they’re probably praying “Oh Jesus, please get though to him!”

He also said he’d buy me dinner. So yeah, I gave in.

We’re supposed to hook up Thursday night after I get off work, so I suppose I’ll get to see what “encouragement” he can offer me. Yes me, the heathen. Me who in fact has more in common with Satanists than with Christians. Then again, no one reading this has any idea how “Christian” I used to be.

It’s a long story, but I’ll give you the head’s up on how it all turns out. Maybe Thursday will be the day my soul gets saved!!!….or not. Hehe.

.

“There’s something cold and blank behind her smile

She’s standing on an overpass, in a miracle mile

Cause you were from a perfect world

A world that threw me away today

Today

Today

To run away

.

A pill to make you numb

A pill to make you dumb

A pill that’ll make you anybody else

All the drugs in this world won’t save her from herself.”- Marilyn Manson

(God! Do I ever know how that feels!)

Log in to write a note

RYN: Yeah, I don’t really plan to use regular OD unless FOD spazzes. too many people whined about not being able to leave me notes…so…ya know FOD has been doin ok (knock on wood) LOL

February 4, 2003

Bless your little heart, I dont think you’re a heathen. If you dont feel comfortable talking with this man then i would just politely call and change plans. I hope that all goes well for you. Keep us updated on your “saving” or lack of… Have a great day tomorrow..

February 5, 2003

ryn: I’ve been pondering your question because truthfully I cannot tell you where it is stated in the bible that suicide is a sin, so I spoke with a devout Christian about it yesterday. She said that suicide is a homicide against yourself and yes, homicide is a sin. But, she also said that there are those who believe that you will be forgiven if you commit suicide out of desperation (i.e.

February 5, 2003

the poor souls who jumped out of the World Trade Center as it was burning down in flames). Moments like these when people decide to kill themselves in order to avoid a worse death, are believed by some to be forgiven by God. But, then again, nobody knows for sure, we only believe…

J if you get saved… hmmmmm. scary. i wouldn’t know how to handle that one there. sorry i haven’t been around lately… btw, that is one of my favorite songs, i feel like he wrote it for me..of course i know he didn’t but still. so hopefully i will see you around soon, later-

P.S. its “a pill to make you numb, a pill to make you dumb” it’s about drugs and stuff-hehe

February 5, 2003

Hey hey, I think it’s good that you’re meeting with your parents pastor! Pastors are really cool people most of the time :oD Oh and also, I read like six or seven of those things on that disk that you sent. You’re very gifted do you know that? I think YOU should be a pastor. Anyhoot,actually I wanna talk to you….so maybe someday!:o) Jen

Yikes. I’m curious to know how this transpires. I love it when people try to ‘save’ me. Ha. Well, never the less, good luck. 😉