Goodbye My Love

Here at the end, I look back at all we’ve gone through together. Funny how months and months of being together could make you a part of me. Time is a strange thing.

You were with me through good times, as well as all the bad that have come up these past few years. Sometimes you made me smile and laugh. Sometimes you made me cry. Sometimes you brought me to the end of my rope only to help me go to sleep and look at things fresh the next morning.

Never once were you ever unfaithful and never once did you fail me. Although people said you weren’t good for me, you never let that phase you.

I can still taste you. I can still remember how you used to warm me inside. Life without you doesn’t seem quite right without you next to me. My hands feel empty when I’m not holding you. All the normal, everyday things that we did together feel hollow and pointless now.

I know it was my choice to break things off, but somehow I can’t get you out of my head. Why is it so easy to remember all the good things and so hard to remember the bad?

Why can’t I remember how many mornings I woke up and swore to never touch my lips to you? Why can’t I remember the times you let me get to the point of killing myself? Why can’t I remember how much or our “relationship” was really just you taking control of things?

Despite all that, the five days that we’ve been apart have been sort of rough. I can’t go to you for comfort any more when I have a shitty day at work (which is almost every day). I can’t hang out with you and watch DVD’s. I can’t trust in you to help bring out the comedian in me and make me more personable.

I miss you, and I wish I didn’t.

So yeah, I haven’t had a drink since Sunday.
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“Days will come that make no sense
My present situation makes me think too much
It all revolves around you
This life that I’m living is nothing without you
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I’d shed my skin for you
What would you want me to do?
I will always love you
But I can’t live like this
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This problem here is my fault
It’s not that I don’t care, but I am so lost
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Choke off the feelings inside
Who you lying to? Will I survive?
I like what you put me through
Cause I feel almost alive.”
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Adema