Deep Inside Your Hole…

Anyone who’s ever heard The Offspring knows (or should know) that the band pretty much sucks. About the only redeeming thing that the band has going for them is that even if you’ve never heard a song of theirs before, you can usually pick it up after about four lines.

Perhaps it was because I had to be up for work at the ungodly hour of 4:00AM. Or maybe it was because deep inside the back of my mind, my subconscious is really a perverted little boy looking to turn anything into something dirty to get a cheap laugh about.

This morning as I was listening to the radio in order to stay awake while I carefully kept the 18 wheels of my truck on the road, I heard their “new single.” The first line of the song is, “Deep inside your soul, there’s a hole you don’t wanna see.”

I figured that my singing along really couldn’t do anything to make the song sound any worse, and yet I unintentionally let out something a bit different than what the authors had probably planned when they wrote it…

“Deep inside your hole there’s a soul you don’t wanna see…”

I caught myself almost immediately and busted out laughing and had to comment (to myself since no one else was there) how much I really wouldn’t want to see someone’s soul if it was inside their hole.

Can you imagine how much different Christianity would become if someone suddenly discovered that the human soul actually resides somewhere up a person’s ass? No longer would preachers be pleading with people to ask Jesus into their hearts. Instead, and I think this would make church MUCH more interesting, they would be trying to get people to ask Jesus up their ass.

“Please Lord, can I get a colonoscopy while you’re up there?”

Yes, I’m very aware that nothing I’ve said really has anything to do with anything, but unfortunately it was about the highlight of my day, so this is what you’re stuck with.

In other news…

I was just scanning the headlines of the local Minneapolis newspaper (from their website) and noticed something I find a little amusing. It’s the first line in a story about what happened at the Democratic National Convention tonight, and said, “John Edwards praised John Kerry Wednesday night as a man tested by war for national command and promised cheering Democratic National Convention delegates that their ticket will “build one America” no longer divided by income or race.”

Maybe it’s just me, but that last sentence kind of jumped out at me. “…their (the Democratic) ticket will “build one America” no longer divided by income or race.”

The question that immediately popped into my mind when I read that was, “Wasn’t that tried once by the communists in the Soviet Union?” Really, I thought it was. I thought the main goal of communism was to take from the rich and advantaged, give to the poor and disadvantaged, and somehow make everyone “equal.”

Maybe I’m wrong (don’t think so though). Or maybe that was a slip of the tongue that was supposed to get cheers from people there who, although they won’t admit it openly, really do support communist ideals.

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“So impressed with all you do
Tried so hard to be like you
Flew too high and burnt the wing
Lost my faith in everything
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Lick around divine debris
Taste the wealth of hate in me
Shedding skin, succumb defeat
This machine is obsolete
*
Broken, bruised, forgotten, sore
Too fucked up to care anymore
Poisoned to my rotten core
Too fucked up to care anymore.”
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Nine Inch Nails