Betterplace

I really don’t know why I was thinking of him today, but I thought about a kid I knew back in Jr. High. His name was Alex, and although we never hung out with each other outside of school, in school we were pals.

One day when I was in ninth grade I got to school and found out that the night before, Alex had shot (and killed) his mom, two younger brothers, and then himself. That night on the news they actually played the 911 call that his dad had placed when he walked into his house and saw his wife and two of his sons lying dead. He must have noticed that Alex wasn’t in the living room with the others. It went something like, “…Oh my God, oh my God! They’ve all been shot! They’ve all…Alex!!! Alex!!! Al…” BANG!

I actually got to hear the gunshot that killed my friend after he stuck a shotgun in his mouth and pulled the trigger.

There were two separate funerals. One was for Alex’s mom and two brothers. The other was for Alex.

I thought it was kind of weird that people at Alex’s funeral (people including the priest’s, since his parents were Catholic) kept talking about how he was in “a better place.” It was almost like that was the theme of the whole funeral.

I’ve been to my share of funerals, and it seems like that is a recurring theme in all of them. I’ve been to funerals of people who lived better, more holy lives than Mother Theresa, as well as funerals of those who would be considered to be at the opposite end of the spectrum no matter whose book they judged their lives by. Every single one though talked about how the person was in a “better place.”

Now those who have read a bit of my diary know that I don’t think people have “eternal spirits” or that there is any “afterlife” or “afterdeath” or anything. I think that once a person dies, they cease to exist and only become fertilizer.

The thing that I was pondering while I was thinking of all these people who are supposed to be in “better places” is how much people actually believe it. Sure, the whole point in saying crap like that is to try to “comfort” the families and loved ones of the dead person (even if they are lying through their teeth and they know it).

The thing I wonder is this; if people really do go to a “better place” when they die, why the hell stay here?! If there is some “afterlife” that is even a marginal improvement to the current one, what can possibly be gained by us all staying here and living THESE lives in THIS world when there is supposedly something better afterwards?

I think that people’s actions tend to show their true beliefs and true colors. If people were truly convinced, and honestly believed, that there was something better after this life, why wouldn’t they sell cyanide pills at the drugstore? Then we could all take ourselves out and go to a “better place.”

If I truly believed (and I mean TRULY) that there was some “afterlife” that was better than this life, there’s nothing anyone could do to stop me from taking myself out. I’d be gone in an instant.

As I said though, people’s actions tend to show their true colors. I think that no matter how forcefully or convincingly someone says “I know that he/she is in a better place…” they don’t really have a clue. They HOPE that the person is, but if they were brutally honest with themselves they’d have to say that it’s all just wishful thinking.

Also, I’ve only been to “Christian” funerals (meaning they were held in a church and a pastor or priest was there to do the ceremonial crap), but I’ve never been to a funeral where the people didn’t “go to heaven.” I mean, everyone assumes that everyone goes to heaven, or “goes with God” and stuff like that, even though that theory goes against the very Bible itself. What kind of mixed message is that?

Of course people would say that no one can judge a person’s heart, or that no one but God can really tell if a person goes to heaven or hell, and I agree that the Bible does support that. But then why do Christians have to go and assure people that their loved ones always go to heaven, “a better place,” or wherever? Last time I checked the Bible, all liars are still going to hell, whether or not they lie to console people or not.

Besides, why would anyone want to be consoled by a lie?

You know what though? After typing all this I realized something. Know what that is? I really don’t care. I don’t care if people console themselves with lies. I don’t care if people like to pretend that they believe in a “better place” after people die. As much as I think it’s retarded and stupid, I don’t really care. People can do what they want to get over the fact that people die. It’s never going to stop or change, so why should I care?

So screw ‘em all. Let everyone think that we all go to “better places” after we die (even though people don’t really believe it, or we’d all be killing ourselves). Maybe if there is an afterlife, I’ll be able to point and laugh at those who end up where they aren’t expecting to be, or see people in a “not-so-good” afterlife that they thought would be in a “better place.”

So yeah, I don’t care. I’m not trying to change anything, and even if I was it would never happen.

“Just remember when you think you’re free,

the crack inside your f***ing heart is me.” –Marilyn Manson

(and yes, I know I censored my own diary. Why? Who knows…maybe so I don’t get “disciplined” by the diary patrol that everyone knows isn’t really there anyways. Although, it IS just a word…)