Full Circle Job

This week promises to move ever so slowly. Please, let us sped this train up a bit.

Full circle in respects to a job. The point of this exercise is lost on me. What is the point of having this job and working on this project? I now am to questioning the life expectancy of a software application. It has to be relatively short. Of course, one has to determine where to “cut off”of one life into another. It is an interesting concept that you will not find that much information on. Why? Because those who could research it would be in the industry and it would hurt the industry.

Sometimes I do wish to return back to 5 years ago. The things I would have changed. The things that I would have gripped on tightly to, never to let go. Of course, I would find some misery in that situation. It seems I am prone to do this self destructive act. Actually, that is not true. I simply look around me at these prisoners and have no desire to become one of them. I have no desire to have the typical life. I do not wish to be 50 years old doing the same thing for the past 25 years. Hell, if I am still working at 50 years old, someone please fucking shoot me.

I miss my old life. What happened to my outlook? It seems I hardly dream the vastness I used to dream. Is this age? Perhaps I will acquire it this weekend through some LSD. HA!

I am now 1.5 weeks being smoke free. This feels good. The zyban fucking rocks. Perhaps I will take it for a year to ensure that I do not let the wheels fall off the wagon.