The Song Inside of Me

Some things that I still deal with, I don’t write about here, but I have some private and personal covenants with my Heavenly Father. One of those has to do with healing. I don’t spend a lot of time dwelling on the physical symptoms that I still deal with, left-overs from the illness and close brush with death that I had in 2011. I cope with the symptoms as best as I can, while still believing for total healing. I believe that will happen in 2014.

I know I’m spiritually radical, much more so than most (but not all) of my friends. Some of God’s favorite people in times past have been spiritually radical: King David, Abraham, Moses, Joshua. All of them were radical believers; I think I’m in good company. I would rather believe for a lot and only get half of it, rather than believe for just a little and get it all. I prefer to be radical, so I am radically believing for healing.

2014 is an amazing number. Add the numbers together (2+0+1+4) and you get 7. Seven is one of God’s perfect numbers; it is the number of spiritual perfection or completion. God rested on the seventh day after Creation. There are seven holy feast days. The Tabernacle was built in six days and dedicated on the seventh day. There are seven days in a week, seven colors in the rainbow which represents the covenant between God and Noah.

The number 20 is one short of 21; 21 being 3×7, or three times spiritual completion. So 20 is a number of expectancy. The number 14 (7 x 2) represents a double measure of spiritual perfection. So I believe that amazing things will happen in the spiritual realm during the upcoming year. And one of those things will be my healing; I’m sure of it. But it will require my total obedience.

Let’s just get it out there: I’m not always obedient. I don’t always do what my Heavenly Father instructs me to do. It isn’t a matter of not hearing Him; oh, I hear His voice loud and clear. It’s that sometimes I just want my own way; He and I are working on this prayerfully and patiently, but I’m not there yet. Sometimes my mouth wants to say things that are not exactly edifying or encouraging. Sometimes my mind wants to think thoughts that are not exactly believing the best about someone. And sometimes my nose wants to get into things that are none of my business. I am only made of clay, and my Father knows that. He knows my lying down and my rising up, and He knows my weaknesses.

He gently takes me aside and reminds me of how He prefers things to be. He ever so tenderly nudges my spirit and re-aligns my intentions. He has never given up on me, although I have sometimes given up on myself. He sees beyond today, and He sees the potential He has placed inside me; potential that I am only allowed to occasionally glimpse when the shimmering curtain is pulled aside for a brief moment.

The desire of my heart is to be better, to be stronger, to be more faithful and to walk more closely in the steps of my Savior. "I have so far to go," I think to myself. "Look how far you’ve come," He whispers back to me. Indeed. I am light years away from the angry, hurt, rebellious, abused and embittered young woman who once stared back at me from the mirror. Forgiveness has unlocked the chains I wore for so many years, and has allowed me those glimpses I am sometimes given. I have come so far. He has brought me so far.

The other desire of my heart is to be healed; totally and completely healed. Free from pain, free from intestinal issues, free from diabetes. Totally and completely healed, and I believe this is my year. I covet your prayers.

This life is a journey, and the joy is found not just in the destination, but in the adventures along the way. I welcome the adventures of this upcoming year, as I grow one year older but also one year stronger and one year closer to where I want to be.

Happy New Year, friends. May He give you the desires of your heart this year, and may you dare to be radical.

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Downtown park in my town; this tree is said to be the largest artificial Christmas tree in the USA, and maybe in the world.(I think it may be visible from outer space.) It is beautiful, though.

My sweet Emmi