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I don’t know who I am anymore. I know who I was. I know who I want to be. But i’m somewhere in between those right now. LA didn’t ever get a fair chance from me. I never really branched out besides co-workers and college friends. I never really got settled here. Never went hiking, never played soccer. I did go snowboarding finally, but that was with Santa Barbara people. I didn’t really want to leave LA, but I felt that there were slightly more pros to taking the job in NY than cons. It was a really tough decision. I was on the fence that whole week. In the end a couple things swayed me. 1). financial security – good money, rock solid company, great career opportunity, 2). my social network in LA would be broken up anyways as people scatter after getting laid off and 3) closer to family. So, logically I’m very happy with the decision. The mind definitely feels that it was the right move. But, part of me feels like I went to CA to get a clean slate, and make a new life for myself. I feel in some ways I quit; gave up on that dream. I’m going back to more of a safety net. I don’t know what the future holds for me. I know that this was a tough decision for a reason. I’m leaving a lot behind by doing this. I’ve lived here in southern cali for 5 influential years of my life. Usually i’m extremely decisive. I make up my mind and there is no looking back. This is the first time I’ve ever really doubted a life-changing decision I’ve made. It’s somewhat of an uncomfortable feeling to be honest. I still think I made the right decision, but I’m not sure. In the past, i’ve always been sure.

Friday night I met Al Pacino. Last week I met Jerry Rice. Am I crazy for leaving this place?