Elaine
Part 2 of why I want to be alone tonight. I don’t know what to do about Elaine anymore. We’ve been casually seeing each other for maybe 6-8 weeks or so now. What this typically means is she’ll come over to watch a movie a couple of nights a week, and we’ll make out a bit, then she goes home. PG-13 stuff. On the one hand, this is exactly what I want, but its also the exact opposite of what I want. Let me try to explain. There are multiple factors in play here. The biggest one is that i’m leaving in June, and I won’t be coming back, and am not willing to even consider any sort of long-distance relationship. I’m moving on in June. Hence, I don’t want the relationship to progress further and get more attached, since we both know i’m leaving. However, i’m not sure how I would feel if that time constraint wasn’t in place. A big part of me thinks I’m only with Elaine because it’s convenient and easy. Rather than her really being what I want, she’s simply what I have. So, i’ll do what I always do in these situations. Make a list of pros and cons.
Pros
she’s smart
she likes me
Cons
young, and thus somewhat immature- we’re in different places in life
way too sexually conservative, and it’s not like i’m very wild and crazy
too quirky- normally I view this as a good thing, but she’s really kinda a spaz
My conclusion: What I like about her is that she makes me feel good about myself. It’s not her, its just that she is into me, and I feed off that. I bring this up because I feel like we’re kinda at a crossroads here. She spent the night this past week, and joined my club, and went camping with me last night so we slept together again. Then she came to the beach with me today when we got back, and we were talking about dinner. At which point I kinda pulled back. I was just feeling kinda overwhelmed, and like I needed some space. We had been together all last night and all day today. She picked up on that, naturally, and didn’t seem to happy about it, naturally. So its almost at the point where I need to decide if this is gonna get more serious, or die entirely. I know I don’t want to be exclusive with her. I’m just not that into her. If I meet someone else I want to have the freedom of mind to pursue that. So….this may be the end of things with Elaine. I don’t think she’ll understand. So this, combined with the Soph disaster, are weighing rather heavily on my mind tonight. Which is why I want to be alone, so i can think.
I think this is one of the moments where you have to say goodbye to some friends and never see them again. You don’t need that kind of drama, and like you said you’ll be leaving soon and not coming back. Eh, but that’s just my opinion.
Warning Comment
sometimes staying strong and letting go of people you need to let go off is hard. I’ve let my friends walk all over me the way Soph did to you and its not good. Reflect on it, do what you have to do to do what’s best for you and not them. *hugs*
Warning Comment
Wow, it may be a hard but in the longrun I think you may be happier just letting that person go, I mean if its more so the fact that she is into you, then you like enjoying her personality and like her in general, then you may just be better off as friends. Plus she may be thinking that you are more serious then you are feeling now, its better to just be honest w/ her.
Warning Comment
Sounds like the situation I was in with that guy I used to date. We were dating for about 4 months until we realized that we weren’t into eachother as much as we thought we were. I figure I was around him because of convienience. Not a good feeling. My opinion, you should end it now cause you never know she could be REALLY into you and saying goodbye to her in the future will be harder.
Warning Comment