my parents

tw for some triggering things ig

i’ve been wondering for so long if how my parents are treating me is normal. like yeah, they have some flaws that every parent does here and there, but some of these got me wondering. like the one time my parents decided they’d punish me when they found out i had been putting harm against myself by locking me in my room, refusing to feed me, ignoring me and taking away/ruining some stuff that they thought could harm me. i’ve gone to extreme lenghts to make sure they haven’t been able to see the fact i’ve been self harming, but i’m 99% sure they have their suspisions. tbf, they’ve done worse to me. like the one time we got into an argument and they told me to get out the house and stay out until they cooled off in freezing temps for hours? yeah, not rlly fun but atleast i got to cool off for a few hours. we get into alot of arguments because they disagree with how i do stuff in life. i’m really scared of their anger with me getting too bad sometime because they’ve gotten a bit violent with stuff around them before and i don’t want it to go out on me someday either : ( i know they wouldn’t intentionally hurt me like that, but sometimes it’s scary. they sometimes talk bad about me to others, but i understand that as i haven’t been the best child to take care of. they’ve been really good support to me with my dance classes and the stuff thats been happening in school to me though. even with everything they’ve done, i still love them. they’re trying their best, but i guess it isn’t easy when you have a child that’s doing stuff that harms them etc. i don’t know if this type of behavior is normal from parents. i can’t really tell since i’m still a teen and i’ve grown up in this household all my life.

i haven’t had the chance to really talk about this before since i don’t want my irls to call the cops on my parents (since i still love them). i don’t really know what to do or how to bring this up to my parents, so if you wanna drop some advice, please do. i just needed this off my chest : )