Update on Life

I have been wanting to write an entry for a long time, I have never just really had the alone time to sit and think about what I want to write and when I do it gets too late at night and I don’t want to breakout my computer because it has issues and it’s kind of a pain to break out but here I am, it’s the morning and everyone else is sleeping in except me because I had to bring our niece to work at 8:30.

We never did have to go through a court process because “the devil” (I don’t like to say her real name, she makes me want to throw up and also punch her in the face at the same time) agreed to let our niece stay in our small town if she lives with my mother in law so she is “living with my mother in law” as far as the devil is concerned she is anyways. It’s nice to not hear from her and have anything to do with her, life has been A LOT more peaceful without her. The good job that she had only lasted for 4 months. I don’t think she is getting unemployment from there so I don’t know where her money is coming from… probably drugs. She is not my problem anymore THANK GOODNESS!!! She DID lose her housing benefit that she was getting from the county. I guess she had to go to court and everything and they took away her section 8 housing. I don’t know if she will ever get it back and she may be fighting to get it lowered now, who knows and who cares.

We have had some issues with our niece living with us. She has been talking to this boy and one night I heard her tell him that she is desperate. She was in my spices and he mentioned some kind of spice (possibly cinnamon) and he told her that she would be high for 2 days and she told him that-that was the point 😡 she said “that would be the best high ever” so I came downstairs to the living room area and SCREAMED at her. I know she was looking for Nutmeg because that is what they were talking about when she first started looking through my spices. I didn’t have it at the time but I do now and I am keeping it in my bedroom because I don’t trust that she won’t do something stupid with it. I’ve had to tell her a couple of times that we do trust in this house and honesty and that if she wants to hangout with this boy during quarantine that they need to be 6 feet apart and that she just has to ask. I feel like she has gotten a LITTLE better but I had an issue yesterday that I am SURE she talked to my mother in law about because when my mother in law brought her back she had this look on her face like she was pissed at me. I don’t care though I told our niece that there are rules and if she does not like them then she can find somewhere else to live. She’s a pretty good kid I just seem to get annoyed with her (especially when she is hanging out with that boy) and we have had some bumps along the way and I know there is bound to be more, It’s probably because she is not my child and she is babied and treated differently than my daughter. At least she is listening and trying to be honest from here on out and I hope it stays that way. She will be 17 in December and she is a sophomore now so we don’t have too much longer until she moves out. At least she can have a stable place before she graduates.

It’s kind of annoying having a teenager that is not mine here… Her mother lets her do whatever the heck she wants and go where ever she wants and that’s not how we roll. It’s hard trying to instill things into someone who has already been doing whatever, whenever. I also feel like she complains to my mother in law and my mother in law is SO annoying and different when it comes to our niece and our daughter notices it too and has said something to me about it. I think it is because of how she grew up but you know I had a bad lifestyle too and there was no one there to baby me, I grew up quick and raised myself. Ugh sometimes this is all just too much and my husband has not been a lot of help and he is a pushover and is not seeing how his mom is towards me and when I tell him he comes up with some excuse as to why she might “look mad” and that it probably has nothing to do with me but I got to know his mom well when he was gone and I feel like I can tell when it is directed towards me.

Still working on paying things off. We have this credit that we were close to paying off and then my husband got a new computer so it went up again but I think I got it back down and I am HOPING to have it paid off by June and then instead of putting some away to save and putting some towards my car I decided to try and put it all towards my car so that we can get that paid off faster. Then we would have more to work with like if we wanted to start fixing up this house…

Our daughter turns 13 next month and I have been planning this glow in the dark party for her but with the quarantine and the governor extending the stay at home order I am worried that it will go into her birthday and then if it doesn’t I run into what if we have had weather on that day because we got a lot of outdoor games for it and for them to just hangout outside and have fun (hopefully it will be fun) we will have a candy table too and I am pretty sure I bought too much candy but it’s better to have too much than too little and I figure kids can always take some home with them. We went all out because to me this is a big milestone birthday, then the next one would be when she turns 16 and she already knows what she wants for that (and it’s not a Sweet 16 Party- she wants to travel to a certain place) which is why I am trying to get things paid off as well…

It felt good to get all of this off my chest and to be able to have the alone time to do so without worrying that someone will walk in and see what I am typing. Hopefully it won’t be so long the next time I write an entry…