Life’s uncertainty
As I sit here staring at a blank screen with my headphones in listening to music I haven’t listed to since I was a teenager my mind is suddenly blank and I am just soaking up the hard rock music playing. I’ve been itching to write something in here but have been pre-occupied with other things and now that I have a moment I have to try and collect my thoughts to figure out what I want to say…
I’ve been trying to get more organized around our house (and keep it that way) there are some places where it’s so cluttered but I’m not sure what to do with the stuff since some of it is my husband’s tool stuff so I have to wait for him. I love him to pieces but he is slow when it comes to that stuff. I understand why though so I try to be patient and not nag about it. I used to nag a lot more earlier in our marriage and now after 14 years I try and pick my battles. He has so many other things going on and his job is tiresome so I understand the feeling of wanting to relax when he comes home. He was sweet and helped me make dinner (cut stuff up) a couple of times last week. I think we are due for another date night, it’s been a while since we have had one of those… Anyways we have a few things that need fixing around the house and if I could I would do them myself. I just get tired of things looking junky. I have to see what finances look like because we need a new front door as our other one is broken (and thrown out already) and we also need to replace part of our deck as a tree fell on it when we were on vacation. I feel grateful that it was not worse than what it was and feel like maybe it’s just one board that needs replacing but I guess we will see. I just get tired of the house looking junky like we don’t take care of it but everything costs money and a lot of it too 🙁
I also have College on my brain, I have been paying out of pocket for that and signed up for classes to start in the Fall. Right now I think I am signed up for 4 classes (I just added another last night) but I may need to drop some. The most I have taken is 2 at a time so I kind of feel like 4 may be a lot especially with working full time and then being a full time wife and mom on top of it all. I just want to keep going and not lose my motivation to complete this degree as little as it is at least it’s something. (Just the Associate Of Arts Degree- basically my generals) I just want to get this degree done ad not take up too much time trying to complete it. I started 2 classes in Spring 2017 and then didn’t take anymore until this Spring of 2018. I had signed up for some in Fall 2017 but had to withdraw from them which hurt me a little. My GPA is good and the person I was forced to talk to said that if I keep going the way that I am then I can graduate with honors and she also told me to look into scholarships which I have a little but have not been blessed with that yet so for now it’s just paying out of pocket what I can and who knows maybe I will only be able to take 1 class this fall instead of 4 which would really stink because like I said I just want to keep going and complete this thing so I can feel good and accomplished…
It’s hard knowing what to do… No matter what I know that God will provide and everything will be ok and I should not stress but at the same time I like to have it all planned out. Trying to STAY OUT of debt and when we have something that comes up and we have to pay things off (like right now) it sucks and throws everything off. I would like to stick with putting money into the regular savings and also the home expense account and then taking a little and putting it towards paying my vehicle off faster once a month like I have been able to do a little in the past but now with school I am trying to see how I can get all of that to work out… I just want to pay my car off faster so we have that extra money every month to work with, it would be amazing!!! Then of course though I would want to work on paying my husband’s truck off faster. My work did finally allow a little bit of overtime last week but not much- I didn’t reach my 60 hours for the week like I wanted to my check is smaller than I would like but I guess better than nothing. It should help to go towards that new front door we will be needing to get… My husband thinks we should replace both doors but I don’t think we can afford that so it may just need to be one at a time. Everything will work out in the end… It always does and I will have a bonus coming in August so that will also help (maybe my husband will get one too)
I also want to look into our vacation and maybe get that booked within the next few weeks so we can work on getting that paid off (the flight and hotel portion) instead of waiting for our taxes so when those come we can use those to pay off what’s left and then for whatever else we need it for…
My priorities have changed, I don’t care about competing about clothes and when I feel like I want more clothes or things that I don’t really need I think otherwise and remember the other things I am working for. The other stuff seems less important and I would rather Travel and get this house stuff done than have material things.
Life is hard, Life is Stressful, it’s uncertain but I know that everything is going to be alright and that God has a plan.