sourapple

January 2, 2010

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Head? Meet wall. Wall? This is head.

Contains adult subject matter. Don’t bitch about TMI when I warn you up front!

Before I become intimate with someone I have to ask a very weird question. I have to make sure that they’re not going to go crazy if I can’t orgasm. There are so many men out there that don’t even bother to try, but for those that do I understand just how frustrating it can be to have a girl on the edge, but not be able to push her over. What I never really reveal to these guys is that the key thing is trust. I have to trust in your feelings for me. If I feel like I’m more invested in you than you are in me, there’s no way I’m going to give you the most intimate thing I can give any person. If you don’t make me feel loved, you’re not going to push the right buttons. End of story. That said, I found myself chuckling tonight at the density of a former flame when I came across an old chat transcript. I had asked him if he could handle it if I didn’t climax and this was his response…

typicaldude: okay, honestly I am not being the typical guy here, I am just going off track record… I will make you come over and over and over
sourapple: Oh no, not the typical guy at all.
typicaldude: I will make you scream into the pillows. I will make you scratch my back until it bleeds
sourapple: Well for the record!!!! Don’t get mad if I can’t
typicaldude: seriously, I have the scars from multiple people
sourapple: Such a guy! haha
typicaldude: that’s the point though. I’m not trying to be the like the regular dude bragging. I just know what I am capable of, and there is no shame in being proud of it
sourapple: Well still… just don’t get all bummed if I can’t
typicaldude: I have worked hard to get where I am at. I have no doubt you will. harder than ever. I’m not joking.
sourapple: Neither am I!! Cause you know I’m going to feel MAD guilt if I can’t.
typicaldude: seriously…I know what I’m doing. you will. it’s not even a question. you will.
sourapple: Humor me. If I can’t you won’t get mad, right?
typicaldude: you will though
sourapple: omg dude. just say right
typicaldude: you really don’t understand. you will.
sourapple: …
sourapple: If you say so

Guess what? I didn’t. His arrogance was such a turn off that he never got anywhere near my bedroom.

And yet!! I met another guy that was equally confident, maybe even more so. But there was a lack of arrogance to his confidence that was an incredible turn on. And as he began to describe his methods for sending a woman’s body to the moon I could feel my legs begin to crumble. I literally leaned against a support just to let him finish talking. And to him I say, "Fuck you, you unattainable bastard! My life will now be incomplete without your particular brand of magic."

TeapotGenie

January 3, 2010

I lol’d

doll face

Haha. Ah, I wish I had the never to say that to someone! Men huh.. *sigh*

Typical dude=more about self-gratification and ego than really pleasing the woman. “Wow I got her to come, I’m so great.” Bur really, love is the greatest turn-on there is. The feelings have to be there on both sides, as you said, in order to be able to “let go.”

DefyingRules

And here I thought I was alone in that sort of thing-I have serious trouble getting to orgasm, especially if I don’t totally trust the guy. And some guys try so hard LoL It makes me feel bad that I am so difficult.

NotKieran

Heh. RYN: But there are worse ways to spend an hour.

*grin* I’m totally the opposite though. I cum quickly and often with anyone. I have a weird knack for seperating sex from love and just appreciating it for the physical act. Glad ur back. Missed ya.

Oh and ryn: yea!!! *hands u a blue ribbon” *giggles*

MadRose

cooome oooon. scars from multiple people didn’t get you going? lol hilarious. ryn- it sucked. but the note was nice, thank you. =)

PrincessLeia

Ugh, arrogance is such a turn off. Glad to see you back. 🙂 <3

devilinmydna

Haha It’s all so true

Cairdeas

that’s hilarious, and i’m with you, without trust there is no sharing the good stuff. just put your pants on and go home, buddy.

PenguinsWalkAmoungUs

Isn’t that always the way it is?

you’re a very emotional person 🙂 not that that’s bad! I personally am glad you are! I’m just saying, I can’t blame you that the biggest factor in you getting over that hump (I feel like there was a pun in there, but it’s not coming to mind, lol) is trust and feelings 😉 ultimately I’m probably a lot more that way than I let on too, lol. doesn’t have to be serious, but some feelings!

and yeah, that guy *totally* didn’t sound like he was bragging, LOL. if I ever claim to be modest/not-bragging/etc and then immediately do the opposite, you have my permission (and in fact my hope!) to give me a good slap and set me straight, lol. that line between confidence and arrogance is quite thin it seems.

SweetAssV

men who brag while ‘not bragging’ suck. at least you didnt hook up with him to show him up … err. *shrug*

jackass

Heh!

Meemaw

January 8, 2010

i’ll never understand the boys who brag like that… surely they must know they can’t back it up. right? or has the world decided to play a joke on him and teach him everything wrong? what he thinks are orgasms are really just disappointed sighs and eye rolls. lol

CandiceMcc

January 9, 2010

RYN: Thank you 🙂

ryn- thank you. I really needed that. I’d love to talk with you more.

ryn- people who know us in real life I think can give me the best advice. I talked with Jenn and she said something very similar. That the key things she identifies me as, Shawn doesn’t mesh with those.

teresa

January 16, 2010

hello. and what a cool entry. i hope you will find that trustworthy person to experience wonderful feelings with. ryn the website is levenger.com

simply_intrigued

You’ve got it right! Aggogance is a major turn off.. but confidence is something to look for in a man! 🙂

Dork Can Dance

January 19, 2010

I really dislike the kinds of men who brag and brag about how awesome they are in bed, and then turn out to be total failshags… I’ve found that the more you talk about how great you are, the less likely you are to actually be any good.

Kate and Em

February 8, 2010

add me add me add me add me

*Molly*

February 9, 2010

ryn: thank you for your note. I like your take on the situation and i know its dumb to seek reassurance from onine strangers, but everything you explained made me feel a lil better. so thank you for taking the time to write.

HA! what is with that? do men not realize that they ALL pretty much say some variation of this: “honestly I am not being the typical guy here, I am just going off track record… I will make you come over and over and over” eh, when you do meet one that IS capable, and is able to be confident without being too arrogant… even if they are a bit of a douche.. it’s hard to let thatgo. oh, is it ever.

Ditch Witch

December 26, 2010

i hate those guys with the ” I WILL ROCK YOUR WORLD” attitude..those are always the ones who fail to rock anything cept the bed as they get up and leave after their massive failure bwahahahaa. seriously, ewwww..cocky is not sexy lol i am on anti-anxiety meds (i have a brian tumor and i get all stressy about it so i resorted to some med help lol) and it makes it REALLY hard to get off. ill be honest..i fake it sometimes just so he doesnt know. its not his fault. my guy is good in bed..but i just CANT get off..then i feel all bad for not getting off haha how funny is that?