A Reason To Smile

I have written several entries here, but I am generally a slow writer. I tend to rewrite sentences, or even paragraphs, two or three times. (Anyone wanna guess how many times I wrote the intro to this?) Because of this habit, none of my entries have been successfully saved. Each time I hit save I am taken to a screen that says my session has timed out. Hitting the back button on my browser does not help in retrieving the lost information. I know I should just highlight my writing and copy it before I press save so that I still have my prose if I’m timed out, but I haven’t written in such a long time that it is no longer a habit.

My first version of this entry was energetic and filled with hope, describing the fantastic plans I have for my upcoming months. I still intend to write about that, but with each version of my entry getting darker and darker I don’t feel like this is the right time to share such news.

Why has each version become darker than the last, you ask? Very good question. At first I had found the initial spark that comes with fresh inspiration. I was thrilled to be writing in OD again and wanted to share my goals and visions with the world. After my work had been heartlessly deleted I lost a little of that spark. Then it got lost again, starting a downward spiral that has set the tone for the remainder of my day. I tried to cheer myself up with a little Josh Groban music. Being in a Grobanite mood I logged onto ticketmaster to get some info about his tour. I knew long ago that his tour was sold out, but I stupidly felt like looking anyway. Lo and behold, I found two tickets for the San Diego show!! Normally that would be a great thing. But at $75 a ticket they are way out of my price range. If you have never heard Josh Groban’s vocal talent you don’t know what you are missing. He stirs up so much emotion, its amazing. The kind of voice you have to hear live to appreciate it. Well, the closest I’ve been is watching his concert on PBS. Then I was offered tickets to his very SOLD OUT concert in LA, but they weren’t free. I had to decline as there was no way I’d be able to raise the money in time. I see the same situation presenting itself again. I’m trying to be logical and remind myself that I wouldn’t have had anyone to go to the concert with anyhow, so this is all probably for the better. But it isn’t helping!! I’ve wanted to see him live for so long. The only two performances I really really really want to see live are Josh Groban and Linkin Park (ecclectic combination, I know). And can you believe that at 21 I still have not been to a concert???? I’m a reject!

Just as I started to wallow in self-pity a friend called. He asked what was wrong and, while I didn’t go into details, I told him I was really depressed. He told me to go read a book, which of course was the furthest thing from my mind so I brushed off his comment. Then the conversation was steered toward his music and he said he is going to start recording again and that *gasp* I was his inspiration. He has had songs that he’d written, but I jump started his desire to get them recorded. I’m very happy about that. I only have one CD of his, but I really like it. Looks like I now have a reason to smile. Maybe I’ll even settle down enough to read a book. 🙂

But I won’t be able to get those tickets out of my head!!!!!!!!!!!!!