1st Day of Work

It felt weird being back at work. The store has gotten most of the "facelift" remodel while I was gone, which lucky me for missing a lot of that. The first hour being there I kinda felt like I was walking in circles, didn’t know where things are now. Was nice my manager started at 7, so she kinda caught me up on stuff. We usually work solo, so this is rare.

I had the joy of pumping, woot woot, unfortunately it’s with a hand pump. My replacement pump hasn’t arrived yet, so tomorrow will be same thing. Oh well. At least I have the hand pump.

I must be tired, I’m super edgy right now. I feel so emotional and Roger is hitting my nerves. Anywho.

This morning went well. Woke up, got ready for work, pumped one side. Then woke Bruce up to feed him. Then he got plopped into his carseat and brought to my mom’s. I ended up texting my dad asking if he’s crying a lot. He responded "a bit". My heart just sank. I just knew he would be. Then a little later I called my mom, she said that my dad got up, ate cereal and then left. So he wasn’t even there to tell me that he’s still crying. Moron. And that Bruce was crying off and on but he’s doing ok.  I know it’s a huge adjustment for Bruce.

I was the one that got to pick him up. I was so excited. He was smiley to see me. He looked beat.  That makes me sad. He slept great on the car ride home. Took a good nap in the swing while I napped on the couch. Hopefully soon Bruce will get comfortable and nap a real nap at my mom’s. At least he’s only there once a week. Tomorrow she’ll be here til Roger gets home, so 3 hours maybe. The weekend he’ll be home with Roger. That’ll be smoother.

It just breaks my heart. I don’t want to be at work away from him. I keep telling myself that there are so many pros to me being at work. He’ll get used to being with others (thankfully it’s not strangers). I can tell he’s very attached to me which makes sense since I’ve been with him 24/7. He doesn’t really like others holding him. Also, he doesn’t really like being other places, even if I’m there. He won’t nap well, gets fussy. Hopefully this will get him used to at least their house.  Well that’s the only pro I can think of right now but it seems really good. Also I think it’ll be really good to have some Daddy/Son time without me around too. They do stuff together but you know just will be different without me there for awhile.

So tonight I feel like an emotional rollercoaster. Of course I’m trying to bottle it up. It has to get better right? Hopefully quick.