test

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so, during my appt with the doc today, the nurse decided why not do a pregnancy test? she came back with this smile on her face and said she was seeing a faint line. she wasn’t entirely sure but she said i looked pregnant to her, something in my face. she said it might just be a shadow but…she did one last time i was there and said it was negative, no questions asked.

can i hope?

can i hope that my period wasn’t a period or that i got pregnant directly after my period? or maybe right before? or maybe i had my period while pregnant? can i?

i will for now. until i get another period. i’m not having any signs except a screwy stomach and those weird bumps around my areola. and a bit of boob pain. and uncertainty about food now and then.

i think she was seeing things but…

damnit. now i’m hopeful again.

i don’t feel nauseated or anything. i did with sawyer. i had every symptom in the book. can that change from time to time?

she said come back and she’ll do another test if i miss a period. that way i don’t have to buy expensive tests. good to know she’ll do that! i have a test but it’s still good to know i can get one free. she said if not, start to chart my temperature for ovulation. since it’s taking so long to get pregnant this time, i might not be ovulating.

you should have seen dennis’s face when i said she might’ve seen a faint line. he thought that if she didn’t see one, she wouldn’t say she did.

we’re both hopeful and i hope we aren’t disappointed this month.

but when would i have become pregnant? no idea. i could have a baby before i’m 30 if i became pregnant last month. i don’t know why but that was (is?) my goal.

i’m really really hoping we get to make the announcement for my niece’s bday at the end of the month.

but i have to remember not to get my hopes up. she wasn’t sure if she saw anything.

but…

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