attention wal-mart shoppers

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a funny…

 

 

 

 

Dear Mrs. Chapman,

Over the past six months, your husband, Bob Chapman has been causing

quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of

behaviour and have considered banning the entire family from

shopping in any of our stores.  We have documented all incidents on

our video surveillance equipment.  Three of our clerks are attending

counselling from the trouble your husband has caused. All complaints

against Mr. Chapman have been compiled and are listed below.

 

Mr. Elmo Libby President and CEO of Wal-Mart Complaint Department

 

MEMO Re: Mr. Bob Chapman – Complaints – 15 Things Mr. Chapman has

done while his spouse is shopping:

 

  June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in

people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

 

2. July 2: Set all the e alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at

5-minute intervals.

 

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading from

the kitchen knives section to the restrooms.

 

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official

tone, Code 3′ in house wares….

. and watched what happened.

 

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of

M&M’s on layaway.

 

6. September 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

 

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told

other shoppers he’d invite them in if they’ll bring pillows from the

bedding department.

 

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins

to cry and asks "Why can’t you people just leave me alone?"

 

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a

mirror, and picked his nose.

 

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,

asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

 

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming

the "Mission Impossible" theme.

 

12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look"

using different size funnels.

 

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse

through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

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14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he

assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It’s those voices

again!!!!"

 

(And; last, but not least!)

 

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited

a while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

 

________________________________________