The Last Five and the First Four

I have been Mrs. G. for nearly four years. It’s good to be back on Open Diary. I have to change my name, though.
SO much has changed, as I’m sure it did for many of you in the past five years, who find yourself returning to the haven that was your online journal. I hadn’t forgotten the major life events I was contending with five years ago, but the details had grown fuzzy with time. Reading my past entries, few as they are, has really made me appreciate the growth Connor and I have made as a couple, leading up to and during our marriage.

Connor and I recently celebrated seven years together! It’s almost unbelievable. This month, we’ll be married for four years, and will have spent more than half of our relationship married to each other. That’s even more unbelievable.

As I sit here in Harlem (more on that in a minute) waiting for rush hour traffic to die down, I’m reflecting on what my relationship has taught me. And none of the cliche advice you usually hear, but what have we really truly learned? I have some ideas..

1/ Your relationship is as individual as a person, as is your perspective and value of it. Other peoples’ advice may not apply to you and yours, requested or not. Some things you have to figure out for yourselves. Life and marriage are nuanced.

2/ The idea that marriage joins two people into one is, frankly, bullshit. I am still my own person, and I live symbiotically with my husband, not through some strange state of socio-emotional/intellectual osmosis. I do not represent my husband at all times, nor does he represent me at all times.

3/ It’s really an amazing feeling when you realize that there is really no amount of disgusting shit that could keep you from loving your spouse. I mean, sometimes even literal shit. That he forgot to flush that one time. I mean, that was a close one.

4/ It’s okay if there are still some little things you want to keep to yourselves. Just not the super mega important things. You don’t NEED to know EVERYTHING about each other. Trust that one day maybe you’ll be in a place to share those things, and it will be special, or funny, or touching, and if not… it’s okay. Love can still exist.

Those are the big ones for now.

(Ok, at 5 percent battery life now…)

Oh yeah- the Harlem thing.

I’m still a teacher, but I finally made it into elementary education! I live in Northern NJ, but I work at a charter school in Harlem. I commute every day by car. Traffic is the worst on Fridays. It’s Friday, I couldn’t leave school fast enough to beat the traffic, so I’m sitting it out as much as I can. Teaching in Harlem is great, but this year has been rough. I’ll save that for another entry, I think. Not enough time or energy to get into it yet. 🙂

It’s really good to be back again. I don’t know how often I’ll be in, but it’s good to know it’s here. 🙂 Gonna go poke around and find some more people updating about what’s been going on in their lives since 2013.

KR, Meredith