5/10/04

hi all….it’s monday…yay not….not much new, i havent written in a little, schools school, i got invited to the honors dinner thingie woop! first time for everything lol my brother graduates from college on saturday…. my mom got home from a week in england (again) which was kool for me, no her for 8 days! but shes back, and now has no job 🙁 sucky.

it’s ubra hot outside…. and lifes boring….random note….

you know i havent been that happy reently, i don’t know why, i mean i’ve with all these ppl from my church and everything, but it still kinda sucks, been talking to my ex alot recently and realizing how much i wish i had someone of my own….

but i don’t have anyone, and i mean i have definately figured out it hurts to find someone and be attracted to them. i don’t know what to do, it’s becoming summer time, in june im going to germany, maybe i’ll have a fling over there (only problems are it wont happen, and if it does im gonna think about the dude forever)

i’m gonna be single and depressed for life…..boy doesn’t life sound so fun!    why don’t i just get wasted and jump off a bridge, it would be alot easier than keep falling in “love” with someone who i barely know…. saying  you’re “in love” is so false when you’re young, if you go out withsome one for 2 weeks, you’re not in love with them…..i didn’t say “i love you” to my ex boyfriend till like 4 or 5 months atleast…..oh God, what it’s actually like to be in love, i wish i had that feeling again

why ramble on about the unpossible…..i am domed to be loveless all of my life