10/29/06

So I am in college now, It’s quite different than highschool. I like it.
I am taking four classes, working three jobs, and living two miles away from everything. Yet, it’s fun. Next semester, I’ll be taking five classes, and still working three jobs, and I’ll still be two miles away from everything. more or less.

The not so good aspects are about guys. I dig alot of guys here. I liked one in particular, who I asked if he liked me and said no, so it actually made me alot happier knowing that and I started dating someone else who liked me. It was a crazy relationship. We were good when we were together, we were horrible when we were on the phone. he annoyed me, I didn’t give him the answeres he wanted. Alot of bickering. when we were together one day he said something about how he could wait until marriage if i was one of those girls. MARRIAGE?! we hadn’t even been dating for a month and he said marriage. not only that, he said I love you on day two. I always believed I wanted a serious/cuddly/romantic relationship, and thats close to what I got with him, but it freaked me out too much.
 I ended up breaking up with him two days after our month. He still loves me madly, calls me and leaves me messages pleading me to call him back. it’s semi-pitiful. He thinks we may get back together. I know better.
There is a boy at college. He’s in my dorm. I’ve liked him for awhile, even while dating my boyfriend. I feel bad for that, but it just happens i guess.
We’ll we’ve been spending alot of time together just doing real random/stupid things. i mean i chilled with him while he did his laundry. lol. i feel badly for liking him so much after just getting out of a relationship. when I was having issues with "the man" as he calls my ex, I’d always be able to talk to him about it. he’d appologize for not knowing what to say, and I’d say it’s fine, just talking in general made some things better. the more we talked and he consoled me, the more I found to like him. I really like him now. But ofcourse being the silly girl I am, I have no idea if he feels the same so i’m lost in confusion.

I know i’m just being a silly girl, but it’s hard being a silly girl. too much estrogen and too many feelings.