mommy mommy mommy

*sigh*

I am SO looking forward to Noah’s birthday right now. Why? Because I’ll be able to hand him off to Grandma!

The past couple of days have been exhausting. Two nights in a row now, it’s taken me two hours to get him to sleep and STAY asleep once I put him in his crib. Wednesday night, he woke up at one point and then ended up sleeping next to me for a few hours because I was so exhausted I fell asleep while holding him. And this morning, for his first nap, he only spent a half hour of that in his crib. The other hour was spent between me and Jake. It’s a little late in the game to be wanting to co-sleep, buddy.

He wants to be constantly attached to me. I tried to hand him to Jake earlier and he started crying. Jake handed him back to me and he was immediately happy. I love my boy, but I cannot hold him all of the time! And dangit, I thought we went through the separation anxiety crap already!

And I’m all on my own tonight. Jake’s doing off duty for a high school football game again. *sigh* I’m starting to wonder if he doesn’t like being at home. He’s signed up for a ton of off duty work. I know part of his reasoning for signing up for stuff for September was to get the repairs on the car paid off, but he informed me when Noah and I got back from Target earlier that he’s signed up for a bunch of stuff already for October, too. I wish he’d put half of this energy into getting the rest of his money from the VA! Or, gee, I don’t know, put some of that time into working on our freaking marriage. Yeah, things have been good, but that’s only  because I’M putting forth the effort. He has not changed one single thing, really. It’s really starting to tick me off. He’s the one that messed up, therefore, he’s the one that needs to be putting forth a lot more effort.

Anyway, I just needed to vent a bit. Now I’m going to go skim through my new Bible (it’s peeeerty) and make my dinner.