to love you both

and as always, i come to you with heartache.  If it were simply heartache i would know how to handle it though.  no, today it is happiness too…  I’ve broken one heart and healed another in one simple move.  and beleive me when i say, i never meant to hurt a soul…  but i was.  before, i was hurting zakk.   he finally realized he loved  me and i had to turn him away and say "just friends"  and left it for a while… that is until my heart began to crave him.  And now, i’ve hurt austin because in completeing my heart i’ve broken his.
It is strange though.  they both hold a peice of my heart, so there’s no way for me to heal and i have to chose one over the other for saving. 
it is an odd day when hearing the words "i love you" will make you weep more than goodbye.  and how strange it is that when one man loves you it’s joy, and when two love you it’s torment. 
i wanted to love you both but i can’t.  there’s no way.
I am so sorry.

crystal