not really news, just life

"speak a little louder, my heart is not quite broken enough"

Well this is how the story ends.  or maybe it’s how it begins.  Zakk. . . is not mine.  But he’s not Hillarys either.  and that makes me feel better.  He said something stupid and meant it so i got angry and stopped speaking to him for a while.  then he realized that he’d been treating me badly and not appreciating me and that there was a pretty good chance of me not speaking to him ever again so he called and apologised.  I actaully… well even after he called i almost didn’t speak to him anyway. but i did.  and now we’re friends.  Just friends.  I don’t really mind that so much.  He doesn’t  have to be only mine right now.  He quit smoking and i’ve been wanting him to do that for a long time.  He calls me every now and then and we talk.  i dont call him.  it’s better this way i think.  he’s going to spend thanksgiving with my family and he’s coming to pick me up at the airport.  I think, as long as he’s not with someone else i’m ok with us just being friends. i know he values my friendship more than most and that means enough to me. 

very soon i will be right and she will be wrong and i can finally have her games behind me.   See, hillary moved to Maine.  Zakk pretty much thought that was the end of it so he just didn’t tell her anything, now she’s back and he has to tell her that regardless of where she is he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with her.  Now she’ll know that i was right.  Now she’ll know she had no reason to be such a bitch to me.  Hopefully, if he has any balls at all, he’ll tell her today and not prolong her suffering.  I’ll probably hear about it in the next day or so.   I just. . . i want her not to be a part of my life anymore.  Zakk is a part of my life whether i let him be physically a part of it or not and hillary being such a close part of his life made it nearly impossible for her to not be in mine. 

anyway, i felt like you who still read deserved to know the events and that, while i’m not overly happy, i’m also not overly sad.  I’m busy with school and my days are spent being at a relative level of normalcy with very few peaks and valleys.  
This is a safe place to write i think because no one who is mentioned above knows about this journal so i don’t have to worry about them finding out about things. 

Crystal