12/3/03

Well I’m just going to do it. Uh, write that is. I keep hoping for a large chunk of time so I can catch up with everyone before I write-it seems rude not to, and I want to know what’s going on!!-but apparently that is not going to happen, especially in the Christmas month.

Hmmmm, nope. I don’t like this writing either. I don’t do well with alot of choices you know, and I swear these look diff. then they do on Word anyway. This could take some time.

The latest news here is that both Brie and Carl have been diagnosed as Bi Polar. !! Our new catchphrase is “Did you take your meds?” Oy. Handy I suppose but geeeeeeeezzzzzzz! It wasn’t really a surprise, but you know how it is when – even if you expect it- you hear it, it’s a shock. Explains a lot doesn’t it? Thank God above for the new meds out is all I can say. Poor Steve and Chels, hope they don’t feel left out. *snort*

*Lord, please,please,please let Logan be free of all this. It’ll take a miracle, but after all, that is your business right?*

I’ve been busy putting up Christmas decorations and shopping. ‘Tis the season. Thanksgiving was hard, Christmas will be too, but after the first bit of time I was ok…well, better, for Thanksgiving. I broke down at first, when I got to mom’s. I had worried about that, but the minute I walked in I started to cry. It’s not right. Just not right. It’ll take time. Hell of a lot more then we’ve had. My younger brother is coming home for Christmas from Montana. First time in a couple of years. Wish my sister could come too.  But at least the three of us will be there for mom and each other.  Ya just gotta carry on the best you can and that’s that. Dad sure doesn’t want us to be moping around. At all. That would make him sad.

Ok. Need a subject change. Let’s see, well this isn’t a huge change but the other night, as I was half asleep, in that so close to sleep you’re nearly dreaming stage, I got the clearest picture in my mind of how closely we walk with those on the other side. It was the strangest thing – it gave me the chills and woke me up. I tried to fall back asleep, to go there again, and have tried since, but I cannot. Maybe I’ve watched too much of John Edwards show, but it was so comforting to me and I felt like I’d been given a precious gift by “seeing” it.  It wasn’t long enough. Always greedy. But at the time and just after I had the best feeling of what a gift life is and to enjoy it, I felt so full inside, of joy and hope, like I understood, finally, the whole thing. The meaning of life. Just enjoy. And that we aren’t alone, loved ones walk with us…so closely. Close enough to touch. I can’t explain this-how can I??? I probably sound crazy but I hold those moments close, and know somehow, that it was a gift. And I’m thankful. I only wish I could recapture that feeling of pure blissful comfort and understanding I felt at that time. What a joy life would be if I could and hold it. Much easier, too.

In rereading that, I want you to know, I have been examined by top doctors and found sane. 🙂 A little off the mark perhaps, but that just makes me interesting. *grin* Some would say it was merely a dream, I choose to believe it was a gift, and I am thankful for it.

My darling precious grandchild is doing great. I have pic’s online finally-now I have to download them to a site and then can put them on here! (right? That is right isn’t it?) I have some cute ones of him and his b-day cake and etc. He’s a hard one to catch smiling, he smiles and laughs all the time, but the minute he sees a camera he gets sober and looks pensive. Wouldn’t you know it?! He’s changing every day it seems. He does not like the word “no”. Feels it doesn’t apply to him. We’re just teasing. *L* So he just keeps doing it, grinning, then he goes running and laughing as soon as we get up to get him.  Some days we get a lot of exercise! He kisses, but prefers air kisses, he’s already pushing you away if you kiss him too much. He’s all boy that one. Little bugger. He entertains us all every evening with his antics and if he’s spoiled, it’s with love, so therefore does not count. *w*

Hmmm, I’m missing the character count on the bottom. Well at a guess, I’m prob. close. I know I’m tired and can barely put words together. Someday I’ll have titles again, for now, they just seem like too much work.

I miss you all and now I got this out of the way can just catch up next time. {{{{{hugs}}}}}