I have a heart on for you

and its a shirt with a heart on it and it says that. brilliant! though, not so much my idea as it is herrrr idea. the girlfriend that is.

fuckity fuck valentines day for a slew of reasons. another fucking corporate produced holiday to cash in on consumers and make singles feel like they’re a fucking retard or something for not having a mate. and fuck the fucking pink and red everywhere it looks like a blood disorder. I saw a family at work today all dressed in pink, even the Dad. and it made me want to shoot them. or a dog, since there were lots of them around and that seemed more plausable.

but I didnt. I did, however, take a picture of them from afar. creepy? perhaps, but so are your grandma’s war stories.

even with my bitching and mumbling and cynical take on the holiday, I suppose there is part of me, deep deep deep down under the dirt and mudd and hate and black that wants something cute and fuzzy and trite to be sent to me at work. not.

the girlfriend did her deed by secretely packing in my lunch a valentines day cupcake, and a chocolate and cherry candied cup. along with my choice of two gourmet sandwiches and my favorite flavor of chips. leave it to the chef to win me over with food. so, though it was not a stupidfuckingvase filled with over-priced-ready-to-die roses, I was the envy of all the fruitless, straight girls at work anyway. eat it bitch. literally.

The girlfriend goes on daylong tangents about how this is the last year we’re celebrating valentines and from now on we’re over that shit. but, every year, she does something cute just the same. I dont claim to NOT want to celebrate, I just embrace my hate for it. I made her a necklace with leather and a razor blade and twine and wrote her sappy letter prose thing and purchased her a big ass bannana split from coldstone. my mission every year, for every holiday, is to make her think I did nothing, and, every year, she believes that I have done nothing until I present her with the gift. the shock factor is the only thing that gets me off.

other important news: death and destruction and war and still no cure for the common cold but god fucking dammit the sales in build-a-bears are probably through the roof.